Hello everyone! I just came back! How are things going?
Thing Jokes
I tried my best using phone sex online, but the thing about it is the holes cannot fit through.
Life is a bitch, and people make it worse.
This thing that I'm in ("am") is a forsaken curse (beta).
When your girlfriend says it is too small, you say, "Just enjoy the small thing."
Nothing is lost until Mom can't find it.
What's the opposite of an exorcism?
When Satan has to tell the priest to come out of the child...
My boyfriend is just like a sexy nerd and I still have to ask him things like that because I'm so distracted from him.
This rat did the most amazing thing ever; it was pretty radical, dude.
Girl: Come over.
Orphan: I can’t.
Girl: My parents aren’t home ;)
Orphan: Just two things I don’t have.
A man from Brooklyn is arguing with an Englishman. He says things like,
"It's an elevator, not a lift!"
and
"It's a bathroom! Not 'washroom'!"
He keeps going on until the Englishman says,
"Hey wanker, it's a school, not a god damned shooting range."
My ex misses me, good thing she'll never hit me.
I'm doing something Stephen Hawking can't do... pressing "I'm not a robot."
"What's 9 + 10?"
"21" (lol XD)
Also:
"My name Jeff" (Roar XD)
One more thing:
Ninja has ligma.
What’s one thing Obama proved during his presidency?
No matter how far a brotha gets in life, he’s still going to have the cops on his back.
I have a pussy. It's very hairy. It has a long thing sticking out of it. It's also very hair. My hairy pussy meows and purrs.
When a Muslim dies, he gets 72 virgins.
It's the same thing with priests, except the virgins are children.
It would be pretty funny if something that's not a joke was the most liked thing. It would be pretty funny, I think, lol. Just a little funny, lol.
There was this boy. He had diarrhea, and he kept asking to go to the bathroom, but the teacher said no. Next thing you know, he pooped himself in front of the class.
My sister thinks she's so smart and funny. The only thing that is funny is her face.
What is the worst thing to do at a funeral?
The corpse.
