Thing jokes

What's one thing your dad shares with black men? Your sister.

What’s one thing Obama proved during his presidency?

No matter how far a brotha gets in life, he’s still going to have the cops on his back.

Two emos are dating, and the most romantic thing they have ever done is slit each other's wrists.

When someone throws something at your forehead, it stops moving and goes into orbit around your forehead.

I'm sorry and I apologize mean the same thing, except at a funeral.

A lot of things changed when I got my girlfriend pregnant: my name, my address, and my phone number.

Me: I am the second worst thing that happened to these orphans.

Friend: What was the first?

Me: They- they weren't always orphans.

Friend: O-O

Things you say before sex, Disney addition:

"Have you seen my Mouseketool? Oh, Toodles!"

Last post for today, but I had to say one more thing! Tomorrow I am going to Six Flags, and I am literally so excited! It is going to be so much fun. Hope you guys have a good MLK JR. day! Woohooo!

What do you call a disabled Chinese person?

Som Ting Wong.

What's an orphan's favorite toy?

A boomerang because it's the only thing that comes back.

What is the only thing lesbians know how to grow? Cucumbers.

Three Things I Want For Christmas From Santa:

1. A Lambo

2. A House

3. UR MOM

I tried my best using phone sex online, but the thing about it is the holes cannot fit through.

My ex misses me, good thing she'll never hit me.

"What's 9 + 10?"

"21" (lol XD)

Also:

"My name Jeff" (Roar XD)

One more thing:

Ninja has ligma.

Girl: Come over.

Orphan: I can’t.

Girl: My parents aren’t home ;)

Orphan: Just two things I don’t have.

I'm doing something Stephen Hawking can't do... pressing "I'm not a robot."

Life is a bitch, and people make it worse.

This thing that I'm in ("am") is a forsaken curse (beta).

This rat did the most amazing thing ever; it was pretty radical, dude.