Thing jokes
What was the last thing that went through the minds of the 9/11 jumpers?
Their ankles.
Lololol get it? They fell from like 100 feet.
The second worst thing to happen to these orphans!
Last post for today, but I had to say one more thing! Tomorrow I am going to Six Flags, and I am literally so excited! It is going to be so much fun. Hope you guys have a good MLK JR. day! Woohooo!
What's My Favorite Thing About My Grandpa?
His life insurance...
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? That's a silly question. Feminists can't change anything.
What's the best thing about having sex with 28 year olds?
There's 20 of them.
So I'm reading Hamlet, right? And then this one page they like, "Yo, like, Hamlet the fuck t tgo foff off KING speak, yo" 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 truth ong fr 😂 Face with thing is funny or... 😂 😂 😂 😂 the
If a black person calls you a cracker, let them say it. You can say things they can't say, like, "Thanks for the warning, officer!"
Three Things I Want For Christmas From Santa:
1. A Lambo
2. A House
3. UR MOM
Why do orphans like stealing things?
They wanted to have company.
What did Tennessee do?
The same thing Arkansas did.
If I ever have a YouTube channel, I'm pretty sure it would be called "101 Things NOT To Do With Electrical Sockets."
Sorry man, but I got to say one thing. You know when a bully in a movie walks to you, then they walk up to you, and they smell you and say, "What are you doing?"
You are walking through the woods when you cross a woman who has been raped and beheaded. What is the first thing you do?
Check your map, you’re obviously going in circles.
Do you know the best thing about killing a hooker?
Not only do you get your money back, but the second hour is free.
Would you rather listen to Justin Bieber or die in the slowest and most painful way possible?
They're the same thing.
What runs but never stops?
When did “yo” mean Hello?
They are so different, how did they come to mean the same thing? Did someone just walk up and accidentally say “llo” instead of hello and people were just like “what did you say?” and the man being embarrassed just made up a story and say “oh, I said yo, which means hello in my original language."
So, a blind guy is sitting on a park bench with his seeing eye dog right beside him. Suddenly, his seeing eye dog cocks his leg and pisses all over the blind guy's leg. So the blind guy gives the dog a treat.
A man taking a walk saw the entire thing and said to the blind man, "That is the most charitable thing I’ve ever seen, your dog deliberately pissed on you and here you are giving him a dog biscuit." The blind man says, "Oh it’s not what you think, I’m just trying to find his head so I can kick him in the ass."
Texter 1: You know People treat me like a god.
Texter 2: How?
Texter 1: They ignore my existence unless they need something.