Thing jokes
Why is my sister so annoying? Because put your own thing in.
I'm doing something Stephen Hawking can't do... pressing "I'm not a robot."
One thing led to another, now I have a new patio.
I'm in a wheelchair, right, so I've tried everything but one stand up.
It didn't work.
Hello everyone! I just came back! How are things going?
Two emos are dating, and the most romantic thing they have ever done is slit each other's wrists.
When someone throws something at your forehead, it stops moving and goes into orbit around your forehead.
I'm sorry and I apologize mean the same thing, except at a funeral.
Things you say before sex, Disney addition:
"Have you seen my Mouseketool? Oh, Toodles!"
Me: I am the second worst thing that happened to these orphans.
Friend: What was the first?
Me: They- they weren't always orphans.
Friend: O-O
I tried my best using phone sex online, but the thing about it is the holes cannot fit through.
Girl: Come over.
Orphan: I can’t.
Girl: My parents aren’t home ;)
Orphan: Just two things I don’t have.
Life is a bitch, and people make it worse.
This thing that I'm in ("am") is a forsaken curse (beta).
"What's 9 + 10?"
"21" (lol XD)
Also:
"My name Jeff" (Roar XD)
One more thing:
Ninja has ligma.
My ex misses me, good thing she'll never hit me.
What do you call a disabled Chinese person?
Som Ting Wong.
I have a pussy. It's very hairy. It has a long thing sticking out of it. It's also very hair. My hairy pussy meows and purrs.
When a Muslim dies, he gets 72 virgins.
It's the same thing with priests, except the virgins are children.
Q: What was the last thing the United Healthcare CEO heard before he got shot?
A: "It's me, Luigi!"
What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
I don’t know, flags big plus.