Thing jokes
One thing led to another, now I have a new patio.
I tried my best using phone sex online, but the thing about it is the holes cannot fit through.
Me: I am the second worst thing that happened to these orphans.
Friend: What was the first?
Me: They- they weren't always orphans.
Friend: O-O
Things you say before sex, Disney addition:
"Have you seen my Mouseketool? Oh, Toodles!"
My ex misses me, good thing she'll never hit me.
Girl: Come over.
Orphan: I can’t.
Girl: My parents aren’t home ;)
Orphan: Just two things I don’t have.
"What's 9 + 10?"
"21" (lol XD)
Also:
"My name Jeff" (Roar XD)
One more thing:
Ninja has ligma.
A man from Brooklyn is arguing with an Englishman. He says things like,
"It's an elevator, not a lift!"
and
"It's a bathroom! Not 'washroom'!"
He keeps going on until the Englishman says,
"Hey wanker, it's a school, not a god damned shooting range."
My boyfriend is just like a sexy nerd and I still have to ask him things like that because I'm so distracted from him.
This rat did the most amazing thing ever; it was pretty radical, dude.
What do you call a disabled Chinese person?
Som Ting Wong.
When a Muslim dies, he gets 72 virgins.
It's the same thing with priests, except the virgins are children.
I have a pussy. It's very hairy. It has a long thing sticking out of it. It's also very hair. My hairy pussy meows and purrs.
What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
I don’t know, flags big plus.
What’s the worst thing about having a daughter with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.
It would be pretty funny if something that's not a joke was the most liked thing. It would be pretty funny, I think, lol. Just a little funny, lol.
If you are what you eat, then I’m black.
The only thing brighter than my cuteness is the fire on the Twin Towers.
There was this boy. He had diarrhea, and he kept asking to go to the bathroom, but the teacher said no. Next thing you know, he pooped himself in front of the class.
My sister thinks she's so smart and funny. The only thing that is funny is her face.