Thing jokes
The best part about having autism is being able to make jokes about genociding autistic people and no one can say a damn thing.
What is the similar thing between alcohol and anal sex?
They are not for kids.
What has one head, one foot and four legs? A: A Bed
Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it's over your head!
Q: How many letters are in The Alphabet? A: There are 11 letters in The Alphabet
Q: How can you spell cold with two letters? A: IC (icy)
Q: What state is surrounded by the most water? A: Hawaii (this is really just a trick riddle)
Q: David's father had three sons: Snap, Crackle, and ? A: David!
Q: If you were in a rainforest, what would be the first thing you put on? A: The radio!
"Number 15: Burger King foot lettuce. The last thing you want in your Burger King burger is someone's foot fungus, but as it turns out, that might be what you get."
No matter how big the jar, there is one thing that can never fit inside it. What is it?
9/11, 911, same thing.
What's the worst thing about eating a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
A man had 10 dead and bloody babies in the middle of his living room. The police suddenly knocked on his door. What is the hardest thing to hide?
- A boner.
What was the last thing Stephen Hawking said before he died?
"Windows Shut Down."
Do you know the best thing about killing a hooker?
Not only do you get your money back, but the second hour is free.
Fail and fall mean the same thing when it’s downstairs.
What’s the most annoying thing about licking bald pussy?
Putting the damn nappy back on afterwards...
Schools in the hood are kind of the same thing. I always seem to get shot.
What's the best thing about 20-1 year olds... there's 20.
What's the best thing about dead baby jokes?
They never get old.
So uh, I did this thing where I put soap on my brother's toothbrush, and then I put more on and colored it to make it look like toothpaste, and uh, he is constipated now. I AM EVIL :3
On a bus, a priest sat next to a drunk who was struggling to read a newspaper.
Suddenly, with a slurred voice, the drunk asked the priest:
"Do you know what arthritis is?"
The parish priest soon thought of taking the opportunity to lecture the drunk and replied:
"It's a disease caused by sinful and unruly life: excess, consumption of alcohol, drugs, marijuana, crack, and certainly lost women, prostitutes, promiscuity, sex, binges, and other things I dare not say."
The drunk widened his eyes, shut up, and continued reading the newspaper.
A little later the priest, thinking that he had been too hard on the drunk, tried to soften:
"How long have you had arthritis?"
"I don't have arthritis! It says here in the paper that the Pope has it."
What’s the best thing about a blowjob?
The ten minutes of silence.
What is the first thing you would do if you woke up as a woman?
"Probably the dishes."
What's one thing your dad shares with black men? Your sister.