Thing jokes
Schools in the hood are kind of the same thing. I always seem to get shot.
(Wait, forgot about the 3rd third thing.) I have said this countless times, but it doesn't seem to be getting through to you: quit hating on particular jokes. You don't like it? Nobody cares. Don't go into the morbid jokes category, you idiots, ffs!
Fail and fall mean the same thing when it’s downstairs.
What was the last thing Stephen Hawking said before he died?
"Windows Shut Down."
What's the best thing about 20-1 year olds... there's 20.
Memes
What's the best thing about dead baby jokes?
They never get old.
So uh, I did this thing where I put soap on my brother's toothbrush, and then I put more on and colored it to make it look like toothpaste, and uh, he is constipated now. I AM EVIL :3
A man from Brooklyn is arguing with an Englishman. He says things like,
"It's an elevator, not a lift!"
and
"It's a bathroom! Not 'washroom'!"
He keeps going on until the Englishman says,
"Hey wanker, it's a school, not a god damned shooting range."
My boyfriend is just like a sexy nerd and I still have to ask him things like that because I'm so distracted from him.
This rat did the most amazing thing ever; it was pretty radical, dude.
What's the opposite of an exorcism?
When Satan has to tell the priest to come out of the child...
What’s one thing Obama proved during his presidency?
No matter how far a brotha gets in life, he’s still going to have the cops on his back.
What do you call a disabled Chinese person?
Som Ting Wong.
What is the only thing lesbians know how to grow? Cucumbers.
What's an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang because it's the only thing that comes back.
Three Things I Want For Christmas From Santa:
1. A Lambo
2. A House
3. UR MOM
My cousin’s friend spelled “racist” wrong and when my cousin showed me, the first thing I said to my cousin’s friend is “Go to Grammarly. They REALLY teach you spelling.”
Last post for today, but I had to say one more thing! Tomorrow I am going to Six Flags, and I am literally so excited! It is going to be so much fun. Hope you guys have a good MLK JR. day! Woohooo!
Hello everyone! I just came back! How are things going?
Things you say before sex, Disney addition:
"Have you seen my Mouseketool? Oh, Toodles!"