Thing jokes
Anthony Blinken's life sucks, and getting COVID-19 positive is the only positive thing that ever happened in his entire life!
Paddy and Murphy are walking down the street when all of a sudden, Paddy falls down a manhole. Murphy shouts down, "Paddy, is it dark down there?"
Paddy shouts up, "Dunno Murphy, I crnt see a fecking thing!"
Why do orphans pick apples? Because that's the only thing they can pick.
If I don't get a bf by the end of this month, Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging from the roof.
What is small, black and yellow, and drops things?
A fumble bee.
So I'm reading Hamlet, right? And then this one page they like, "Yo, like, Hamlet the fuck t tgo foff off KING speak, yo" 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 truth ong fr 😂 Face with thing is funny or... 😂 😂 😂 😂 the
What's the one thing that you don't have but celebrities do?
Lots of fans.
What's the difference between a glass of chocolate milk and a toddler?
The thing is, I wasn't arrested for throwing a glass of chocolate milk against the wall.
"Love is a good thing, never be embarrassed by it."
What is a kid's favorite thing to do with their dad?
Play pretend dog in the bed.
Can you imagine what was the last thing that went through their brains?
The knee caps.
Organise my brother's bucks party and got confused when he asked for a hot 22 year old for I brought him 20 two yr Olds....
Good thing my brother's a little bit different.
What are three things the Twin Towers have in common with my dad? They are big, sexy, and smashed your mom.
One day this kid says to his dad, "Dad, they bully me at school."
His dad asks why, and the kid says, "They bully me because I got no hands."
Then his dad says, "Who would do such a thing like that? I want to know who they are. Point at them!"
What are two things that an orphan can’t have?
Two parents.
Do you know when the thing of you when the was is where you and if you when you where if I and you where in the thing is where yes?
I don't trust anything that bleeds for more than 5 days and is still alive.
I used to have a phobia of pogo sticks. Those things always made me jump.
Why couldn't the twins never do anything right?
Because they were triplets!
What's the same about boxes and children?
They're both found in basements.