Thing jokes

What is the weirdest thing to wear and what is the weirdest thing to say?

Weirdest thing to ware: Socks with sandals, also with flip flops!

Weirdest thing to say: "Would you rather be a bath or a toilet?" "The blue angel sea slug looks like an alien." (weird).

Bonus: Things to ware with other things: Crop top with t-shirt (really hip), Crop top with tights or shorts, dresses with tights! (Cool) Oh well byeeeeeee!

So, Dora is having a sleepover with her cousin Diego at Dora's house. Later that night, Dora's mom hears someone screaming, "Go Diego go!" for at least a couple of minutes, and then it stops, and she goes back to sleep.

But then she hears the same thing a couple of minutes later, so she walks in and hears "Go Diego go!" She walks over to Diego's sleeping bag and looks, and it's empty, so she walks over to Dora's sleeping bag and looks in and sees Dora getting f

... by Diego and hears Dora saying, "Go Diego go!" while moaning.

I hate these double standards.

Burn a body at a crematorium and you're doing a good thing, burn a body at home and you're destroying evidence.

The annoying orange told the annoying, insecure, beta bitch orange that he wants to be the most annoying thing on Earth again.

Why can't all orphans learn about ancient Egypt? Because they don't know what a mummy is.

Why do orphans hate Christmas?

Father Christmas isn’t a thing.

What was the last thing that went through the 9/11 jumpers' heads?

Their ankles.

I was raped by mimes once. They did unspeakable things to me.

Hey, do you remember that dragon thing?

Draggin' these balls across your face.

My boyfriend thinks he’s hilarious.

Him: How do you break things?

Me: You break things up.

Him: Okay.

Me: Is everything okay?

Him: We’re a twig. We’re breaking up.

Orphans and homeless people are the same thing.

What is the best thing about Switzerland?

I don't know, but their flag is a big plus!

What was the last thing to go through the terrorist's mind? The detonator.

Q: What’s the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl?

A: You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message.

If I ever stuff up a post, please let me be. I do have ADHD, short-term memory disorder, and dyscalculia, so please remember that no one likes to be picked on for things that they can't control.

It's amazing how dog owners can make their dogs shout different things. For example, Czech dogs go "barf," American dogs go "woof," and Chinese dogs go "sizzle."

Karien: Mom, I don't care if you're dating a new guy, I want you and Dad to be together!

Daiana: Sometimes things don't work out, like when it didn't work between your father and me. Time to move on, Karien.

Karien: Well I'm not moving on! I can't believe you love someone else!

Daiana: Karien, just give him a chance. His name is Derek, he loves cooking, cleaning, and anything that has you doing something.

Karien: That is so boring!

Daiana: Well just work with me please?

Karien: I'll give you a day... 24 hours, Mom!

Donald Trump and Fanta both have some things in common.

They are both orange and were conceived from Nazis!

When your uncle drops a nickel, but the only thing he really drops is his pants.

I saw a dad shave his daughter's head because she made fun of a woman with cancer.

Good thing she didn’t make fun of a pregnant woman 🤭