What is the best thing about Switzerland?
I don't know, but their flag is a big plus!
Thing Jokes
The future, the present, and the past walked into a bar. Things got a little tense.
Highest level of insult by a girl by seeing a guy's dick:
"I can shit bigger logs than that thing of your's" 🤣
Bender.
I was fucking this girl, and I started to make her cry.
She mumbled things and squirmed, but I couldn't hear her through the gag I put in her mouth.
I ran over my neighbor's cat last night, and I just want to say... that thing was fast! I had to run a red light to get it!
I told a seal a joke, it went like this: "Why did the kid cross the playground?" He said, "Why?" I said, "To get to the other slide." And then he said, "That's the sealiest thing I've ever heard!"
What’s the best thing about sex with 119 year olds? There are 100 of them.
When I was a boy, I had a disease that required me to eat dirt three times a day in order to survive... It's a good thing my older brother told me about it.
Try to make a joke, but not about yourself.
Well, I have nothing.
Q: What's the best thing about fucking 28 year olds?
A: There's 20 of them.
My ex misses me, good thing she'll never hit me.
Q: Why did the flat earther become gay?
A: He knows a thing or two about giving dome.
Q: Why did he eventually become asexual?
A: He doesn't believe in anything south of the border.
Me and my grandpa went on a road trip, and he died. That was the last thing we did together, and I will never forget his last words: “WAKE UP YOU DUMBASS!”
30 people died in a car wreck before they got to Heaven. God asked for one wish because they died in a tragic way. The first lady, she was obsessed with her looks, so she asked to be beautiful and God granted her wish. The next person didn't know what to wish for, so they wished for the same thing. The guy in the very back was laughing, having a grand old time. Then God got to the person before the last. He said the same, he wished to be beautiful. When God got to the last person, he said, "I want them all to be ugly again."
Student: What's the best thing in the world?
Teacher: I don't know what.
Student: Hard rock cock.
The weirdest thing happened yesterday. My dad came back from work... He’s a suicide bomber.
My old platoon sergeant always told me the hardest thing when walking through a field of dead babies was... his cock.
Three Europeans come to America. They all get captured by Native Americans, and they want to kill them, but the Europeans beg to have their lives spared.
The Native Americans agreed to not kill them on one condition: the Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it. So the first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, “Shove it up your butt, if you laugh we kill you.” So, he shoves the peach up his butt and he laughs, and the Native Americans kill him. The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs and the Native Americans kill him. They both see each other in heaven, and the first guy says to the second guy, “I had a peach and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed, but you had a grape, what happened?” The second guy says, “Oh yea, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a pineapple!”
What was the last thing to go through JFK's mind?
A bullet.
