Why do orphans pick apples? Because that's the only thing they can pick.
Thing Jokes
The best thing about an orphan? They donβt have to suffer from "your mama" jokes.
There are two kids sitting in a classroom: Lily and John. Lily sleeps in class every day.
The teacher asks Lily who made heaven and earth. John pokes her with a pencil. She shouts, "Jesus Christ Almighty!"
The teacher says, "That's right."
The teacher says the next day she asks the same question. John pokes her with a pencil. She shouts, "Jesus Christ Almighty!"
"That's right," the teacher says.
The next day she asks Lily what did Eve say to Adam after their 100th. John pokes her again. "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I'mma break it in half!" she shouts.
What do you call a disabled Asian?
"Sum ting wong."
Some girl just walks into my 6th period geography class. The first thing I think is, "Oh shit! It's mini Regina George without titties!"
What's the most common thing between Hitler and an emo?
Hitler knows when to kill himself!
So I'm reading Hamlet, right? And then this one page they like, "Yo, like, Hamlet the fuck t tgo foff off KING speak, yo" π π π π π π π truth ong fr π Face with thing is funny or... π π π π the
What's the last thing emos feel before they die? Rope burn.
What is small, black and yellow, and drops things?
A fumble bee.
One thing about disabled people is they never set foot in prison.
Listen, Man United might not thank me but get the contract out, put it on the table. Let him sign it, let him write whatever numbers he wants to put on there, given what he's done since he's come in. Ole's at the wheel, man. He's doing it. He's doing his thing. Man United are BACK.
If I don't find a reason to live soon, my ceiling fan isn't the only thing that's gonna be hanging from my ceiling.
When I see your face, there's one thing I want to change.
The direction I'm looking.
What's the best thing about fucking twenty-one year olds?
That there's twenty of them hoo hoo hee hooo harr haar dee harr harr
What's the best thing about having sex with 28 year olds?
There's 20 of them.
Would you rather listen to Justin Bieber or die in the slowest and most painful way possible?
They're the same thing.
To all of you making jokes about orphans, itβs all fun and games until both of your parents leave you.
LMFAO (my parents left me and itβs not the funniest thing ever)
What is one good thing about pedophiles?
They drive slow in the school zone.
So NFL teams were playing football on me, and then Justin Jefferson hit something called "the gritty" on me.
What's the worst thing that can happen to schools?
Quiet kids.
