New Thing Jokes - Page 24 - Worst Jokes Ever

One day, Little Johnny needs to use the bathroom. His mom is in there, so he went in to use it and asked his mom, "What is that between your legs?"

His mom told him that is her bush. Then the next day the same thing happened, but with his dad. He asked his dad, "What is that between his legs?" He said, "My snake."

The same thing happened one more time, except with his grandmother. Little Johnny asked grandma what is on her chest. She said, "My headlights."

One night, Little Johnny caught his parents doing something naughty. Then he said, "Grandma, grandma, turn on your headlights! Daddy's snake is trying to get into mommy's bush!"

I'm so poor that when robbers break into my house,

they bring me things. <_>

What’s the only long-lasting thing from China?

Covid.

Jack and Jill went up my ass to eat a big dildo, but Jack died cause he got hit by a brown thing.

The thing about 9/11 and the jokes about it, for most people it flew over their head, for some it flew into their head.

What was the last thing that went through the 9/11 jumpers' heads?

Their ankles.

Why can’t you trust an atom?

Because they make up everything.

What’s the best thing about 26 year olds?

There are 20 of them.

20 years later

Johnny: Hey dad.

Dad: Yea?

Johnny: Fuck you, I ain't comin' back to your grave in 16 years, then ima come back, BITCH!

Dad: Doing the same thing I did to you and your mother, ay? I deserve it :( ;O not real...NOT A FUCKING ALL.

Johnny: Yea you kinda fucking do.

Dad:...

The circular saw asked the chainsaw, "When am I as big as you?"

The chainsaw would answer with, "When you cut down some things in your life. Like your owner."

The circular saw would reply with, "What?"

Don't you just hate it when your grandmas always complaining about things getting stuck between her false teeth, like my foreskin?

If I don't get a bf by the end of this month, Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging from the roof.

What do you call a group of Emo kids?

Suicide Squad.

What jumps and never let's go?

An Emo kid.

I bet all Emos want to be like their biggest influencers some day.

Dead.

Why do Emos want to be the "Scene" these days?

The only thing I've "Scene" from them is their suicide rate climbing, it's starting to climb quicker than they did to get to the top of whatever they jumped off.

Jantje goes on a walk with his grandmother. Jantje sees 1 dollar on the street and picks it up.

The grandmother says: "Hey, Jantje! No picking up things from the floor! They are ugly and bad!"

Then they keep walking. The grandmother slips and asks Jantje to help her stand up. Jantje answers: "No! Everything on the ground is ugly and bad."

You know what would be the best last thing to say before you die? "No, you certainly can't." JFK's assassin certainly can!

What was the last thing to go through Princess Diana’s head before she died?

The steering wheel.

A computer usually has a HARD drive. LESSON. No wonder they remember things.

Why is my sister so annoying? Because put your own thing in.

The top worst thing for an orphan, and probably the most awkward one, is when they're having sex and the other person is calling them "mommy" or "daddy."