They jokes
Why are orphans not on this?
They don’t want to listen to the dumbos on here!
Someone walks up to his dad and says, "Dad, what’s the difference between potentiality and reality?" Soo ok, the dad says to the son, "Go ask your mother, sister, and your brother if they’d sleep with the postman for $1,000,000." So the son comes back 5 minutes later and said, "Dad, they all said they would sleep with the postman." So, son, potentially, we have a million dollars, but in reality, we have two sluts and a gay one."
One day, a chicken went to the nail store. He asked the "owner" where the shampoo was. "BRO IM NOT THE FRIKKIN MANAGER!" the guy said. So the duck walked away.
The next day he went back to the store and asked a pregnant lady why she was so fat. The lady punched him and ran away. The duck cried. Then he went to the lady's husband and said that he must be tired of being married since she punches people every day. The man punched him. The duck assumed they were the punching couple. The duck walked, and then fell in a ditch and stayed there to die. The pregnant lady and her husband were very pleased >:) muhahahahahahaha
What does Jesus have in common with Pinocchio?
They believe their own lies.
Why are Indians so good at football?
Each time they get a corner, they open a shop.
I have a brother and he told me this quote, "No wonder they had a second child, they messed up on the first one." He’s the second child... I’m the first...
They laughed at my crayon drawing.
So I laughed at their chalk outline.
Why are orphans good at dodgeball?
They can dodge adoptions.
I have good faith in the glue police. They usually stick to their word.
Whenever you're mad, just punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
I keep trying to call my emo friend. They keep hanging up.
I was crying at school, telling my friends my grandpa died. And they asked me what his last words were. His last words were, "Are you still holding the ladder?"
Why do orphans live on the street?
They don't have parents to put a roof over their head.
What do pedophiles and guitars have in common?
They both fingered A minor.
Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands!
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut? The baa-baa shop.
Why did Adele cross the road? To sing, “Hello from the other side!”
How do trees access the internet? They log in.
Did you get them? Me neither. I mean, it is worst jokes ever. I'm kidding, I actually do understand them.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they just sit in the dark and cry.
Why do orphans not use iPhones?
Because they don't have a home button.
What do Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
Why can’t the orphan play baseball?
Because they don’t know where home is.
I have a riddle for you:
10 people are on a boat, but they all die due to a tsunami except the captain.
Then, when he gets home, his wife serves him “penguin meat.”
Once he eats it, he starts crying.
Why?