They jokes
An African man was walking in New York when he saw a sign that said, "Watch out for children."
He started laughing hysterically, then a white man asked him, "Why are you laughing?"
He said, "In Africa, they would never put up a sign like that."
How do computers get drunk?
They take a screenshot.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims, they went through 87 stories in 7 seconds.
Why can’t orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy."
So two dudes were at a bar and out of nowhere they hear, "Oi mate, talk to me like that again, I'm gonna shove this stick so far up your ass you'll look like a Popsicle."
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high and grabbed Jill's thigh and said, "You know you wanna."
Jill said yes and lifted her dress so they could have some fun, but stupid Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.
They told me throwing babies was bad, but guess what I did yesterday? I threw my baby cousin down the escalator.
They say nothing is impossible, but I've been doing nothing all day.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
I stepped on a cornflake. They accused me of being a serial killer.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they have no home to run to.
Why are Americans bad at chess? Because they have already lost two towers.
Luckily for you, mirrors can't talk, and luckily for you, they can't laugh either.
Why can’t English people play chess? They ain't got no queen.
A woman goes into labor with her child. The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of childbirth to the father. He asks if it is okay to use the new device. The couple agrees, and so he turns the pain to the father to 10%. The man feels nothing. They then bump it up to 20%. He still feels nothing. They keep doing this until they have the machine up to 100%. The man still felt nothing so they go home happy, until they find the milkman dead on the porch.
Why did the rapper become a chef?
Because they love serving up HOT BEATS!
The Earth used to be flat until they buried yo mama.
Why don't Jedi like their female relatives?
Because they are Sith-ters.
What's the best thing about dead baby jokes?
They never get old.
What does a baby and a grenade have in common?
They both make a noise when you throw them.