They jokes
What do Americans and stars have in common?
They both love shooting up.
What do dead people and orphans have in common? They can't see their family.
Why were the Twin Towers destroyed?
Because they ordered pepperoni and they got plane.
What does a ripped jacket and a golfer have in common?
They both have a hole in one.
Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?
Kid: I don't know why.
Man: Because they have a family plan.
Kid: Well, I need to get another phone service now.
I saw two men wearing the same clothing and walking together, so I asked both of them if they were gay. They did not hesitate arresting me after I said that.
A father and a son were painting pictures together. The son and father were drawing the exact same thing to a T, and the son said, "What happened to your hand?" looking at the scar tissue near the father's knuckle. The father replied with, "You know what happened, you were there." The son continues to deny this until they both finish their paintings. They're exactly the same.
The father passes out for a few hours and wakes up to find that there's only one painting.
The earth was flat until they buried your mom.
They didn't have a category for Bald, so I chose the Bald Eagle.
Did you know that bald people have an endless forehead?
One day, a priest is walking down the street and sees a little girl with a box. "What's in the box?" the priest asks. "Christian kittens," the little girl answers.
Pleased, the priest smiles and continues on his way.
A week later, the same priest is walking down the street with a nun when he sees the little girl and the box again. "Ask her what she has in the box," he says, "It's the cutest thing!"
The nun walks up and asks the girl what she has in the box. "Atheist kittens," she says.
The priest rushes forward and says, "ATHEIST KITTENS!!! Last week you said they were 'Christian kittens!!!'"
"They were," she says. "Now their eyes are open."
Stop telling orphan jokes before they tell their parents.
Oh wait, they don't have any, please continue.
What jumps higher than a basketball player?
An emo kid, they never touch the ground.
They say we have a primal sense, that we can just feel when someone is watching us.
It’s been a few weeks, and it's clear that you do not have that sense.
Why were the Twin Towers mad? They ordered pepperoni, and they only got plane.
What's the difference between a coat hanger and an emo?
Nothing, they both hang.
Why are mountains so funny? Because they are so high!
Why do they call him Mankind if he is always choke slamming people?
Why did the orphan become a prostitute?
Because they needed someone to call "daddy".
The sad thing is when they ride the scooters in Wal-Mart... Really, you declining to walk is what got your fat ass in that scooter to begin with... And damned if they aren't buying diet soda... Please... cull this shit... We don't need them in society... KFC is not a disease.
Why don't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.