They jokes
How does NASA organize a party? -- They planet.
Pedophiles don't win races because they like to come in a little behind.
Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high, pulled down his fly, and said, "Jill do you wanna?" Jill said yes, pulled up her dress, and then they had some fun. But stupid Jill forgot the pill so now they have a son.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy."
The wife said, "Honey! Do you like my new teeth?"
The husband replied, "They remind me of stars, darling!"
"Yellow and far apart."
Why do emos like yo-yo's? Cos they get strangled by the string.
Me: Man, I wish my clothes were emo.
Friend: Why?
Me: So they would hang themselves.
What do gay men like cocks?
🍦🍦🍦 they like the cream filling 😋
Why don’t oranges 🍊 go around blind?
Because they take Vitamin See!
Three men are on a boat. They have four cigarettes, but nothing to light them with. So, they throw a cigarette overboard and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter.
Why do orphans rob banks?
Because they wanna feel wanted.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have no one to call daddy.
What do ambulances and gay men have in common? They both take it in the back and go whoop whoop! :D
A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street, and they come to a kid playing in a sandbox. The priest says, "Hey, you wanna go screw that kid?"
To which the rabbi replies, "Out of what?"
Men vacuum in the same way that they have sex.
They just put it in and make some noise for 3 minutes before they collapse on the couch and think that their wife should be really happy.
I thought today was going to be a good day when I woke up this morning. But then I got to the store and they said they were out of rope.
This year my friends wanted to dress up as crayons for Halloween. They asked me if I wanted to be a tan crayon. I didn’t want to, but I said yes to be nice. I wish I had said no, because now I look like a dick to everyone else.
Friends are like trees, they fall over if you hit them with an ax.
A pregnant wife and her husband were in a hospital as she was in labor. The doctor suggested using a machine that transfers the birth pains from the mother to the father. They agree, so the machine is used. 40%, the husband feels nothing, 70% still not feeling anything, 100%, nothing.
The doctor says it must be broken. When the pair return home, the milkman is dead in the front yard.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "Daddy."