They jokes

Girlfriend

What do your girlfriend and a pool have in common? They both cost a lot of money for the amount of time you’re inside them.

Bill

Yoo! I found a $100 bill, found a child who said they lost their $100 bill. Gave them $25.

When God gives you glory, you give it back.

Girl

Why do girls rub their eyes after they wake up in the morning? because they don't have balls to scratch.

9/11

9/11 isn't something we should joke about. Some people can remember where they were when they found out. I'll never forget where I was when I found out.

It was 9:37, September 10th, 2001. I was in a cave in Iraq when my friend Mohammad told me.

Orphan

Why should you abuse the hell out of an orphan? Because what are they gonna do? Tell their mom or dad?

Orphan

When you tell an orphan, "I did your mom in your home," and they start crying.

Me: You f&*k up.

The class: Oh sh!&

Syndrome

How did the guys with Down syndrome split the dinner bill? They all made a down payment.

Jesus

What did Jesus say when they removed the nails from his hands?

"Feet! Feet!"

Orphan

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

Because they don't know where home is.

Orphan

Want to know what I do in my freetime?

Punch an orphan, cuz what are they going to do, tell their mom?

Terrorist

I didn't mean to call an Afghanistan hotline. I told them I was depressed, then they asked if I know how to drive a truck. I don't know how that has anything to do with it!

Room

Little Johnny walked into his parents' room to see them going at it.

He asked his mom what they were doing, and she said, "Uh, we're play fighting," and he's like, "With no clothes on?"

She said, "Yeah," and so he said, "Let me join you then..."

Orphan

Why was the orphan confused at the baseball game?

They kept yelling, "Go home!"

Parent

What's the difference between the Twin Towers and your parents?

Nothing. They are both just memories.