They jokes
Why are so many people mean to orphans?
They can’t cry to their parents.
What do ants and Michael Jackson have in common? They go in kids' pants.
I don’t make 9/11 jokes; they have a tendency to crash and burn.
What's similar between a pregnant 14 y/o girl and the foetus inside of her?
They both are thinking "My mom's gonna kill me!"
When I'm bored, I like to slap orphans. I mean, what are they gonna do, tell their parents?
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench.
After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"
"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like, hello? It's only 25 cents!"
Why are quantum physicists so poor at sex?
Because when they find the position, they can't find the momentum, and when they have the momentum, they can't find the position.
Why aren't women taken seriously in the world? They are too busy whining about getting raped.
Why can’t orphans be gay? Because they have no closet to come out of.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they would be called bagels.
I don't get why people don't like my abortion jokes. Do they have a stick up their ass? Wait, that's the other hole.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
Friends are like penguins: if you stab them, they die. 😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈
Americans don't like playing chess with Muslims; last time they did play, they ended up losing two towers.
Why do orphans not play baseball?
'Cause they can't find home.
What’s the difference between an onion and a photo of a dead relative? Nothing, they both make you cry when you look at it.
What is so similar about a concrete block and a garden?
They both make vegetables.
I have good faith in the glue police. They usually stick to their word.
A mother and her 7 year old child are walking in the grocery store. The young boy then screams to a random woman “you're an ugly bitch.”
The mother grabs her son and says, “I’m so sorry, I must have told him a thousand of times to not judge people on how they look."
Kid: Why do orphans like tennis?
Dad: Because it's the only time they get "love."