They jokes
What is hard about having a relationship with an astronaut?
They are always so distant! :-]
I love telling jokes about orphans.
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
They say the surest way to a man’s heart is through the stomach. But, I find going through the ribcage a lot easier.
What do classical musicians do when they die?
They decompose.
Why do orphans like to go to church?
Because they can finally call someone "father!"
I usually tell jokes about Kobe, but they usually crash and burn.
What’s one good thing about a pedophile?
They drive slow in school zones.
Why can’t orphans have sex?
'Cause they have no one to call daddy!
Why is "Frozen" a good movie for orphans?
Because they know how to "let it go" when their parents went.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she tried to join an ugly contest, they said, "Sorry, no professionals!"
Wanna hear a poop joke?
Nah, they always stink.
Q: What’s a good thing about child molesters?
A: They drive slow through school zones.
I bought a wooden whistle. I tried so hard, but it wouldn't whistle.
So I bought a steel one. It still wouldn't let me whistle. Then I got a lead one. It still wouldn't lead me whistle. Then I realised, they were flutes, so the wood would lead me whistle if I did it correctly. Steel....
A conductor was conducting a song. At the end, he threw his conductor's stick and killed someone. He was put to the electric chair, but nothing happened. They asked why he didn't die, and he replied, "I'm a bad conductor."
I stepped on a cornflake. They accused me of being a serial killer.
Why do orphan girls become prostitutes?
So they can call someone "daddy."
Q: What do the St. Louis Rams and Billy Graham have in common?
A: They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell, “Jesus Christ.”
Why couldn't Cinders use horses to pull the Pumpkin Coach?
Because they were too busy playing stable tennis!
The first trains were often derailed. They had a bad track record.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets.