They jokes

Q: What do the St. Louis Rams and Billy Graham have in common?

A: They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell, “Jesus Christ.”

Why couldn't Cinders use horses to pull the Pumpkin Coach?

Because they were too busy playing stable tennis!

I stepped on a cornflake. They accused me of being a serial killer.

A conductor was conducting a song. At the end, he threw his conductor's stick and killed someone. He was put to the electric chair, but nothing happened. They asked why he didn't die, and he replied, "I'm a bad conductor."

What is hard about having a relationship with an astronaut?

They are always so distant! :-]

Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?

Because they don’t have any pockets.

What do a priest and a pedo have in common?

Nothing, they both like kids.

What do 9/11 and gender have in common?

They used to be two, and now it's a sensitive topic.

Why does NASA only serve Coke?

Because they can't get Seven-Up!

Dark jokes are like kids with cancer, They never get old.

How do you tell a child they have cancer?

With a smile on your face.

This is why orphans are dangerous with cardboard. They either start eating it or making it into a house and hallucinating that they have a family.

So I threw out the cardboard and said, "You have to stay in reality. Fantasies aren't real. You can't and will never get a home."

Next day, they make cardboard parents, so I threw that away and said, "Pay attention to reality; you will never get parents."

Next day, they start acting like parents and tell me what to do. Again, I said, "Snap to reality. You will never be a parent!" The orphan responded with, "Oh, really?! How so?" I just simply said, "You don't have a house and parents. You literally like eating cardboard, and then you make parents out of it. You like to eat old people!"

They found out that Michael Jackson was transgender, he went from he/him to hee-hee.

How do pedophiles follow the law?

They drive it slow in the school zone.

Little Johnny went to school and right before class started, he pulled down his pants and said, "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." After that, his teacher told him to put on his pants and go to the office. The principal asked him what he did, so he pulled down his pants and said, "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." Then the principal called his mom. The mom got there and took little Johnny home.

They got in the car, and his mother asked, "Johnny, what did you do this time?" So Johnny pulled his pants and said, "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." Once they got home, his dad was off work and heard that Johnny was coming home early from school. Once again he asked Johnny what he did. Johnny pulled down his pants and said, "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." After that, his dad was surprised, so his dad pulled down his pants and said, "Big whale, big whale."

What do Communism, Socialism, Feminism, and Fascism all have in common?

They are all disabilities.

In my locality, there was an orphanage but everybody in the locality was really sexist too, so they had to change the orphanage into a brothel 'cause everybody took the boys away and nobody was taking the girls and the manager didn't want to waste any 14-year-old pussy, did he?

Why do orphans never play baseball?

'Cause they can never get a home run.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they can't find home.

What do sprinters eat before a race?

Nothing, they fast.