They jokes
How do Chinese people name their children?
They throw pots and pans down the stairs and listen for the sounds, "Ching Chong Chang."
A man shoots up a school and then fakes his own death. He then later returns to shoot up the same school. He repeats the process a few times until the police catch him. When they ask why he did it, he replied, "I wondered when you would check if I was still breathing."
What is the similarity between Pink Floyd and Donald Trump:
The best thing they did was a wall.
Why are smurfs blue?
Because they get bruises all the time.
I love Muslims, they are great at parties!
They have the best fireworks.
How many Russians does it take to change a light bulb?
I don't know, they just keep Putin them in.
When I was young, I got bullied by two kids, and whenever I got hit to the ground, I would get back up and cry. Then I had the courage to fight back, except they didn't get back up.
What's a similarity between your best friend and a tree?
They both fall over when you hit them with an axe.
Q: Why do Norwegian ships have bar codes on them?
A: So when they come into port they can Scan-Da-Navy-In!
If you are ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
They finally made a movie about a clock, about time.
Why can’t moons walk?
'Cuz they have no legs, stupid!
Yesterday I asked my friend, "What is a fish without eyes?"
They replied, "I don’t know."
I said, "Fsh."
They toss and turn to the sound of thunder, but I got watermelon to soothe my slumber!
What do dogs do that trees don't do?
Answer: They bark!
badoom ching
Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is.
Why do mountains get so big?
They have no natural predators.
Fruit is like ex-wives.
They both look really good hanging from a tree.
What do Stephen Hawking and the Wicked Witch have in common?
If you throw water over them, they both die...
Why do cows die?
'Cuz they are to beef.