They jokes
What do you call a zombie?
Nothing because zombies aren’t real, and if they were, you would be dead.
Why did the family move away?
Because they lost their son.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims, they went through 87 stories in 7 seconds.
Dark humor is like a boy with cancer.
They never get old.
How many feminists do you need to change a light bulb?
One. She puts the bulb up and waits for the world to revolve around her.
...just kidding-
- none. They can't change anything.
What does dark humor and a child with cancer have in common? They never get old.
A man enters a bar with some friends, and they all sit down to a drink. After not too long, a man with glasses comes through the front door saying, "Anyone who wants to fly off the third story balcony, come upstairs with me!" When no one listens, he shrugs, and everyone watches him go up the stairs. Ten seconds later, he comes back in through the door, again saying, "Anyone who wants to fly off the third story balcony, come upstairs with me!" Everyone is amazed, and a few people leave to go fly with him. He keeps coming back into the bar, bringing more and more patrons to join him. The man at the bar is about to join in when the bartender finally sighs.
"For the last time, Superman, get out of my bar, you're drunk and the only person here that can fly!"
The man with glasses frowns.
"Where did all the others go, then?"
Why do they have air conditioning in hospitals?
To keep all the vegetables fresh.
Want to know why some astronomers are gay?
It’s because they want to be in Uranus.
How can you compare a gay prostitute to Pacman?
They both get paid to eat 200 balls!
Why do seagulls fly over the sea and not the bay?
Because then they would be called bagels! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
They say nothing is impossible, but I've been doing nothing all day.
My boyfriend entered a retarded contest, but they said no because they don’t allow perfectionists.
Pedophiles are fucking immature assholes.
Not done yet.
Now they are.
What do pigs and ink have in common?
They both go in a pen.
Why can't orphans play catch?
Because they don't have parents to catch the ball.
Two old Indian ladies out picking potatoes, one lady stops, staring at this huge potato, turning it round and round.
The other old lady says to her, "What are you doing?" She says, "These potatoes remind me of my husband's nuts."
She says, "Oh my, are they really that big?" She said, "No, they're that dirty. lololol"
How are Stephen Hawking and Kaepernick so much alike? They both don’t stand for the national anthem.
Why do men have penises?
They gotta shut women up somehow.
What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.