They jokes
Why don't headless people have a head in class?
Because they know that they will be ahead of the class. XD
How do trees find each other? They log-ate!
My disabled dad went to the grocery store.
He got lost and yet they couldn’t find him.
Finally, he was found after a kid told them he was in the vegetable aisle.
Why can’t you trust an atom?
Because they make up literally everything.
Why do priests like kids in wheelchairs? Because they can’t run.
Why do women fart when they pee? To blow dry.
Did you hear about the new doggy condos?
Apparently they are now releasing!
There was a doctor's room filled with 20 women, 4 kids, 15 men, and 1 dog. However, there were forty foreheads. How is this possible?
(They will think 44 heads, not 40 foreheads.)
Because there are 40 foreheads, not 44 heads.
A man walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"
And the women look at him as if they have never seen a man walk into a bar before.
What's the resemblance between a microwave and human reproduction?
They both make a sound at the end.
A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, "What's that?"
The little boy says, "That’s my little red race car."
Ten minutes later, the boy looks down and asks, "What's that?"
The little girl says, "That’s my little red race car garage."
So later that night, the little boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage. She said yes, and then they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage, but it won’t fit.
Downstairs, the mother hears an ear-piercing scream and runs up the stairs, flips on the lights and sees blood on the floor. The mother asks, "What happened?"
The little girl says, "We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn’t fit, so I cut the back wheels off."
I got fired from a pickle factory for getting my finger caught in a slicer. They only gave *her* the day off with pay... unfair!
Why were the victims of 9/11 so mad?
Because they ordered a pepperoni pizza, but all they got was a plane.
What do blondes and beer bottles have in common? They are both empty from the neck up.
Do you like tree jokes? Because they leaf me in tears!
Do you like tree jokes? Because they leaf me in tears! :3
There are sexiest women in politics.
They should be in a car showroom.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
I speak for the trees.
*Trees whisper in my ear*
They said six million wasn't enough.
Why do orphans go to church?
It’s the only place they can call someone “father.”