They jokes
If I could be any creature, I would be a Unicorn because they are Beautiful, Majestic, Sparkly, Bright, Gods. They create Joy and Happiness everywhere they go.
Unicorns made my life better when I got to know them more. ^-^ They filled my life with more Happiness. I believe in the Unicorns, and they'll believe in me. I am not a Unicorn, although I am the Princess of the Unicorn Land, but if I could be any creature, I would be a Unicorn! :P
Why do guys hold their ball sack when they run?
Because they don't have titties.
What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common? They both like fairies sitting on them.
They asked to tell them a joke, so I said no.
How did Stephen Hawking make it up the stairway to heaven?
Well, he didn’t; they invented an elevator.
Why do golfers always bring a spare pair of pants?
Because they always get a hole in one!
Did you hear about the two people who stole a calendar?
They each got six months.
What would you find on a haunted beach?
A sand-witch!
"Hey guys, I'm a new jokester, remember my name as I'll be making a lot more!!! P.S. They will be much better than this one!"
I don't like 9/11 jokes because they always talk about how bad of a plane driver my dad is.
I saw a disabled person in the super market. They were at the vegetable aisle.
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are robbing a bank. The police are soon after them, so they hide in a bunch of barrels.
The police arrive and search the area. They come over to the barrel where the brunette is hiding and kicks it. The brunette says, "Woof."
"Oh, it's just a dog," says the police officer, and then kicks the second barrel where the redhead is hidden. The redhead says, "Meow."
"Oh, it's just a cat," says the officer, then kicks the last barrel where the blonde is hidden. The blonde says, "Potato."
What do cheetahs wear to work?
They can't change because cheetahs can't change their spots!
Why don’t they play poker in the jungle?
Too many cheetahs.
Why do the French eat snails?
They don’t like fast food!
Tell someone to say "alpha" and then "kenny one". Tell them to say it very fast. Tell them it sounded like they said, "I'll fuck anyone!"
Where do you go if you lost a pencil?
Office Works! They have solved loads of pencil cases.
We were talking about ancient ruins last week, so I said they can ruin your day!
Why do cantaloupes always get married in the church?
'Cause they can't elope.
How do inmates keep in touch?
They have cell phones.
How many emos does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just sit in the dark and cry.