They jokes

Why can the orphan only go to restaurants?

Because they can't have homemade meals.

Do you know why dead baby jokes are always funny?

They never get old.

I was reading the news and read that a kid killed his family, and when they interviewed him, he said he wanted to become Batman.

Orphans are the best targets for bullying, since who are they gonna cry to? Their parents?

How do you get an orphan to go to sleep?

Tell them their parents are waiting when they wake up.

A lot of people ask why I only make jokes about Paul Walker and no one else.

Because they didn’t have as big of an impact as him.

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  • I went to the mental hospital. I asked one of the kid what its favorite animal was. They said a bird. I asked for a reason. It's because they both jump off roofs.

    How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.

    To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.

    You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.

    I don't see why women are complaining about the glass ceiling. I mean, if they reach high enough, they can clean it...

    They say the polar ice caps are melting, good, because my wife's a fat, cold bitch.