They jokes
Your Mom is so friking fat, that when she ripped her pants and went to the seamster, they said, "We don't sew curtains!"
Yeah man! Life is wonderful! But, when you realize all of the ones you loved were fake.
And when you die, does your online friends notice? How will they notice? Or will they ever notice? Is 13 age too young for dying? Am I just paranoid? I'm scared.
Why can't orphans have a home button on their phone?
Because they don't have homes.
Bob, why are you kicking the kids?
What, it's not like they have a home to go to.
Women be like, "Men's heights," then cry when they get called fat...
Want to know what I do in my freetime?
Punch an orphan, cuz what are they going to do, tell their mom?
What does a blind man and your dick have in common?
They both can’t get up without a dog.
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they all beat the room for being black.
Did you hear about the man who died of a Viagra overdose?
They couldn't close the casket.
Why are Germans so good at cleaning?
They have experience in ethnic cleansing.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said, "I know you wanna." Jack undressed, and she pulled up her dress so they could have some fun. But stupid Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.
What’s the difference between a priest and target?
Nothing, they both have children’s pants half off.
What do an Olympic silver medalist and a Catholic priest have in common?
A: They both come in a little behind.
What do a Catholic priest and an Olympic silver medalist have in common? A: They both come in a little behind.
Three men were lost in the desert and found a genie who granted each of them a wish.
The 1st man wished he was home with his family. The 2nd man wished he was home with his family, and the 3rd man wished they were all back together again.
My elderly relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying, “You’ll be next!”
They soon stopped though, once I started doing the same to them at funerals.
Teacher says, "Okay class, today we're gonna talk about what everyone wants to be when they grow up." Little Johnny, how about you go first."
Little Jonny: "I want to be a speed bump when I grow up!"
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy".
Why do orphans die when a tornado comes?
They don't have parents to protect them.
What's the similarities between Spiderman and a homeless person?
They both have no way home!