Cornell jokes

New degree plans announced by Cornell University:

- Frat Studies, includes classes in acquiring ketamine and arranging threesomes with your homeboy and some random girl.

- Sorority Studies, includes classes in oral sex, binge drinking, and bullshitting after the fact.

- Consent Theory, teaches the new generation that "Yes" means "No" and your problems can all be solved by regretting your own poor decision-making (the shop's still open btw).

I hear Cornell produces very dedicated farmers; they’ll plow a field all night long no matter how much resistance she gives ’em.

Cornell has announced that they will be banning frat parties in the wake of the "Cornell 7" case. With this new policy, students will be forced to conduct all ketamine-fueled orgies in their dorms, which may limit these activities to just 6 men each.

I hear scientists have been experimenting with a new diet at Cornell University: just straight meat for 7 hours a night, all night long, with a side of alcohol to keep the shop open.