Thereness jokes

What's the difference between a blind person and an orphan?

They both can't see their parents.

I told Siri about my dog, and she told me if she could tell me a joke to cheer me up, and I said okay.

She asked me, "Knock knock." I said, "Who is there?" She said, "Not your dog."

Why is there no toilet paper at KFC?

Because it's finger lickin' good!

Jimmy: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Joe: Why?

Jimmy: To get to the idiot’s house.

Jimmy: Knock knock.

Joe: Who’s there?

Jimmy: It’s the chicken.

Denise.

What more is there to say?

There's a disabled kid in my class, right? Oops, should've brought my Hot Wheels tracks.

Did you know that they are making a movie about the four boys who lost their lives on the ice? They're calling the movie "The Lost Boys."

I made a website for orphans.

There’s no homepage.

How do Asian parents name their baby?

They drop a pot down a flight of stairs.

Do you know why there is no “f” in “orphan?”

Because it stands for family.

Hang in there, you all, Literally.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Not your parents.

"You may not rest, there are monsters nearby."

-Sun Tzu, The Art of War.

Why did the white girl come back from Africa?

Because there was no water for her to drink. I'm black.

Q. What hits the ground first when falling out of a tree, a leaf or an emo kid? A. A leaf. There is usually a rope to stop the emo kid.

What did the talking rope say to the man?

"Just hang in there."

Why does an emo wish they were a fish?

Because they're underwater.

Sometimes I look back at everything bad I have done. I tell myself it's ok, they're just telling me to keep myself safe :)

That's it, it wasn't a joke.

I heard there was a kidnapping.

Don't worry, he woke up in the back of a van.

It was his father's friend who was a priest.

He was just bringing him to church.

I told an orphan there were 363 days in a year.