Thereness jokes
"Knock, knock.""Who's there?""Not your dad."Random kid: "My dad went to get milk. My mom said he will be back soon."
Yo mama so fat, when God said, "Let there be light!" she blocked the sun. Now we call her the moon.
Go to an orphanage and tell the kids their parents came back as an April Fools' joke.
A man walks into a bar, and there is a line of people waiting to punch him.
Yeah, that was the punchline.
Why are orphans lucky?
Because they can get in trouble and nobody can tell their parents.
Memes
The 3 life rules:
1.
2.
3.
Oh, there are no rules, because you have no life.
What do you tell a suicidal person when they complain about their problems to you?
Just hang in there, man.
I'm playing a game of HANGMAN. Is there an 'S' or a 'C'?
MIKE PEN__E??
How is there evidence of climate change?
The liberal snowflakes are drastically melting down!
A guy asked me what I do for a living.
Now I'm not old enough to get a job, so I said nothing. He asked me again, so I said, "Your wife!" The guy goes to slap me, but his wife is standing right there. She instead slapped me and said, "You swore not to tell!"
There are three types of people in the world: those who can count, and those who can't.
"Knock knock!"
"Who's there?"
"Baby!"
"Baby who?"
"Do you want to eat this baby that I have prepared?"
"No thanks, I already ate."
I’d make a joke to Fetty Wap on this, but there’s only a 50/50 chance he’ll SEE this.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Tank.
Tank who?
You're welcome.
Don't flirt when there is Life Alert!
Edna: Hey there big boy!
Big boy: You need to stop doing this.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To find their parents.
Why did the man cut down the tree? Because it was there. 👨🪚🌲
Why didn't the man cut down the tree? Because it wasn't there. 😕🪚!?️
Why did the tree cut down the man? Because it was a bad tree. 🌲🪚😮
"Knock, knock.""Who's there?""Kid.""Kid who?""Kidnap you!"
I was taking my dog on a long walk when I heard a loud scream. I ran towards the sound. There I found Penaldo sinking in a pit of mud. I was trying to help him out when my dog said, "Leave him, he's been in the mud for years." I walked away shocked but not surprised.
What's worse, being loved or hated? 'Cause when you're loved you could be left alone or be betrayed, but when you're hated no one's there to leave you. What do you think?