Thereness jokes

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Not your dad?"

Why can’t balls move? Because no one is there to voice them around.

What did the ocean say to the other ocean?

Nothing. They just waved.

Did you sea what I did there?

How can all rape be prevented? Just teach your daughters to never say no to a man. There - fixed!

Knock knock. Who's there? Ieatmop. I eat mop who? Eww, you eat your poo?

What does a white person say when they're surrounded by black guys? "Hey, who turned the lights out?!"

What happened to the depressed kid who tried to high five a tree?

Answer: He was left there hanging.

Maybe the reason there isn't any physical evidence is because it didn't happen.

How do Chinese people name their kids?

They throw pots and pans down the stairs.

I snorted a line of coke off my 8-year-old sister’s tiny prepubescent vag. She just laid there and let me do it without complaining, probably because she was already dead.

What's wrong with Asian pet stores?

There's no pets.

1 "Knock knock."

2 "Who's there?"

1 "Interrupting physicist."

2 "Interrupting who?"

1 "Muon!!!"

There was once a small earthquake, but when I got outside, I realized my brother was still stuck inside. When I told my mom, she just said, "It doesn't matter, you're my favorite anyway!"

There were 10 cats on a boat. 1 jumped off. How many were left? I DO NOT KNOW.

There was none left. They were all a bunch of copycats.

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Cakatoo."

"Cakatoo who?"

"So, you're a Rooster now?"

Holy shit there's so many yo mama jokes. Here's mine: Yo mama so skinny she used a cheerio as a hula hoop.

Yo mama so fat that she made a plane unstable and crashed it into the Twin Towers.

Yo mama so old that she has Jesus's autograph.

Yo mama so ugly that not even makeup can save her.

Yo mama so dumb that she thought Rocket League was a competition between kids in wheelchairs.

Hi Alex, you will probably not see this till the morning, but I just wanted to say I have had fun since you were here. Also, thank you so much for protecting me and being there for me. And yeah, have a good day!

There's this smart way to sneak a calculator into school. I've heard of it. You take the calculator, put it in a gun magazine, put the magazine in the gun, and bring the gun to school!

Why was there a, ummmmm, a cow?

.......... To moo.

When you’re hunting at a forest resort and you shoot a deer, but then you remember that there are no deer at the forest resort.