Thereness jokes
In the French school, four sentences must be written. Fritz heard his mother say, "Close the door!"
Fritz went to his uncle and heard, "Yes, I'll put it there."
Then he came to his brother who said, "They call me Superman, hahaha!"
Finally, his sister looked at a photo and said, "Wow!"
The next day, the teacher said, "Okay, Fritz, it's your turn. Finish eating and take out the trash!" Fritz said, "Close the door!"
The teacher got angry and said, "I want to see the principal." Fritz replied, "Yes, my friend, I am leaving you."
The teacher asked, "I have forgotten your name, what is it?" Fritz said, "I'm Superman! I'm Superman! You're nothing!"
"Who do you think I am?" asked the teacher, who had become very angry. Fritz replied, "Wow!"
A person went to tell a joke: "Knock knock!" "Who’s there?" "I don’t remember!" (I think we need to moove on to the next joke now.)
I just now made this one up! Then I realized it is in the cow category, so I added the moove on part! 😂
I can't fake the smile for long, as there is weight hanging at both of its ends called depression.
Why do orphans like to go to church?
Because they actually have a father there.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Esteban.
Esteban who?
If you do not open the door, Esteban you!
There’s a lot of talk about starting families, but no one ever talks about finishing what they started.
I made an orphan's website, but there was no homepage--because they don't have a home.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ididap!
Ididapoo!!
Why did the Chicken cross the road? You: Why? To get to the little b***h's house!
Knock knock! You: Who's there? The chicken!
There are three Mexicans in a car. Who's driving?
The cop!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Knock knock.
WHO'S THERE?
*Starts putting up hand signs.*
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Your mom.
Fuck you you rwind my life.
A mom says to her son: "Hey, can you wave to that deaf kid over there?"
The son: "I don't know, can I?"
The mom: "May you?"
The son: "No, I don't have any arms!"
How many beans are there in Irish chili?
Answer: 239
Why are there two hundred and thirty-nine?
Answer: (spoken in Irish Brogues) Because if you add one more, it'd be "two farty."
At first, I didn't like Big Ben, but then I went there and the experience was un-BELL-ievable!
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.
Why can't you get water in the North Pole?
Because there is no well.
How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Well, there are 69 in my basement, and it's still dark.
On Halloween you better hide your candy, or else there will be a fella named Big Dick Randy.
There are two muffins baking in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Phew, is it getting hot in here or is it just me?"
The other muffin says, "AAAAHHH!! A TALKING MUFFIN!"