Thereness jokes
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
"Ash."
"Ash who?"
"Bless you!"
I told Siri about my dog, and she told me if she could tell me a joke to cheer me up, and I said okay.
She asked me, "Knock knock." I said, "Who is there?" She said, "Not your dog."
I was at my bank today waiting in a short line. There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady, who was trying to exchange yen for dollars. It was obvious she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla of yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?" The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations." The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too!"
Oh, Mom, there is poop in the toilet still.
Mom: Oh, that was me and the dog.
Me: Wait, what????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
Go punch an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Orange who?
Orange glad I didn’t say banana. Hahaha, you’re right, I hate that guy!
My son and I went on a tour to the Old Trafford Stadium. We were admiring the 76,000 seat arena when he suddenly pointed at the pitch.
“Dad, who is that man camping there?” I said, “Son, that is Bruno Penandes. He lives in that Penalty box. He only performs in small games.”
I was stark nude. Hehe, I was. I truly and sincerely was.
The nurses giggled and said, "Joseph, why the hell is your wiener so loving?"
My penis purred and stroked their hands. I laughed and said, "I do not know."
Why do orphans dip their Oreos in water?
Because dad never came back with the milk.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Mama.
Big Mama. Big Mama can't fit through the door.
Man 1: Knock knock.
Man 2: Who's there?
Man 1: Ice.
Man 2: Ice who?
Man 1: I crushed your head.
Freshfry, are you there? I really want to talk to you!
Love, Gwen.
So all blondes are dumb, right?
Is that why there are so many more white people that are blonde than Black?
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Peanut. Peanut who? Peanut butter open the door!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
An interrupting cow.
And inter-moo!
There's one shop orphans can't go to, but what is it?
Home Depot.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Yo mama!
There were ten cats in a boat, and one jumped out. How many were left?
None, 'cause they are all copycats.
Why are there 25 letters in the alphabet? Because the D is in U.
Why can’t the USA play chess?
Because they lost their two towers.