Thereness jokes
A woman walks out of the shower, winks at her boyfriend, and says, "Honey, I shaved myself down there. Do you know what that means?"
The boyfriend says, "Yeah, it means the drain is clogged again."
An old woman walked into a dentist's office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. The dentist said, "I think you have the wrong room."
"You put in my husband's teeth last week," she replied. "Now you have to remove them."
A penguin takes his car to the shop, and the mechanic says it'll take about an hour for him to check it. While he waits, the penguin goes to an ice cream shop and orders a big sundae to pass the time. The penguin isn't the cleanest eater, and he ends up covered in melted ice cream. When he returns to the shop, the mechanic takes one look at him and says, "Looks like you blew a seal."
"No," the penguin insists, "it's just ice cream."
If your Uncle Jack was on his roof, and he wanted you to help him down, would you help your Uncle Jack off?
A family's driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windshield. Embarrassed, and trying to spare her young son's innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don't worry, dear. That was just an insect."
"Wow," the boy replies. "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"
LGBTQ. If there’s any joke, it’s 100% the woke 🤡.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
My I.
May I who?
May I put this pussy on your mouth?
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Banna.
Banna who?
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Banna.
Banna who?
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Banna.
Banna who?
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Banna who?
Orange you glad I didn’t say Banna? Yup! 🤣🤣😂😂😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣🤣😂😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂
Knock knock. Who's there? Robin. Robin who? Robin you, that is who.
There’s nothing funny about orphans, right?
Well, I guess that depends on your sense of humor.
Knock knock. Who's there? Child. Child who? Child Millissa!
There's at least 856 pages of these newest puns. I couldn't finish, because it took me an hour just to get that far. Just saying, that's a lot of jokes!
Don’t feel bad about this day because there’s a saying: "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present."
Do you know why there is no “f” in “orphan?”
Because it stands for family.
There were these two guys in a lunatic asylum... and one night, they decide they don't like living in an asylum anymore. They decide they're going to escape!
So, like, they get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moonlight... stretching away to freedom. Now, the first guy, he jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend didn't dare make the leap. You see... You see, he's afraid of falling.
So then, the first guy has an idea... He says "Hey! I have my flashlight with me! I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!" B-but the second guy just shakes his head. He suh-says... He says "Wh-what do you think I am? Crazy? You'd turn it off when I was half way across!"
Why are orphans bad at basketball?
Because no one is there for them to pass [the ball].
Why the actual f
is there drama on this website? Anyone can fake to be someone they're not and no one will know the goddam difference. I’m just trying to look at/make jokes, and I’m getting shit from people saying, “It’s too offensive,” or something like that. Goddam, just take that shit somewhere else!
I may not be that good with puns on this site, but I got a skele-ton of jokes. Hey, what's the matter pal, is there something crawling under your skin?
Why is Donald Trump like a creamsicle?
He's white on the inside.
He's orange on the outside.
And then there's that stick!
If I had a dollar for every gender there is, I'd have two dollars and a lot of counterfeits.
The "f" in "orphan" stands for "amily." There is no "f."
I was in Alabama last year. I walked into a store and noticed a couple kissing each other, and I said, "Excuse me, where is the bathroom?" and the man said, "Right over there." I went into the bathroom and then heard the girl say, "Dad, I have to go to school soon!"
Me: That’s a good WAVE.
Friend: I SEA it.
Wave: Doesn't break for us to surf on.
Me: I was SHORE it would be good.
Friend: I SEA what you did there.
Why don't you use a dull pencil?
Because there's no point. 😐😑😑