Thereness jokes

A few kids were talking about how big their houses were. Kids were pointing to huge houses and huge apartments. One little boy said, "Bet I have the biggest home." To everyone's surprise, he pointed right towards the massive orphanage.

Harry Potter

Dobby: "Dobby never meant to kill, Dobby only meant to maim or seriously injure!"

Jumanji

Coach Webb: "Ok, there's a lot wrong with that."

Once, there was a Minecraft child molester on the Minecraft Facebook. He asks a kid his age. The kid blocks him.

There's only one gender. Women are property.

Roses are red, Your blood is too. You look like a monkey and belong in a zoo.

Do not worry, I will be there too, Not in a cage but laughing at you!

There has to be someone that hates watersharky. He curses at you if you say one thing about his friends or him. He just is mean and needs to leave.

One day a man dies and goes to heaven. He gets there and sees a bunch of clocks. He asks Jesus, "Hey, what are the clocks for?" Jesus replies, "They move every time you sin." "This is Mother Teresa's, it has not moved so she has not sinned." "This one is Abraham Lincoln's, it has moved twice so he sinned twice." The man asks, "Where is Joe Biden's?" Jesus replies, "It's in my office-- I'm using it as a ceiling fan."

All the Muslims are pissed off because 24 hours after Chuck Norris went to heaven there were no more virgins left.

If you're mad, go punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their mom?

I'm thinking about telling my daughter there's a ghost in the house. At least then I can wear a bed sheet at night and fuck her without her being suspicious.

I apologize if those jokes didn't meet your expectations. Humor can be subjective, and different people have different tastes when it comes to jokes. I'll try my best to share a few more jokes with you:

Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!

What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!

Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!

What did one hat say to the other hat? You stay here, I'll go on ahead!

Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!

How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!

Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they'd be called bagels!

What did one wall say to the other wall? I'll meet you at the corner!

Why don't eggs tell jokes? They might crack up!

What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!

I hope these bring a bit more amusement. Let me know if there's anything else I can assist you with!

When there’s an earthquake, coffins become underground maracas.

Why the actual fuck is there drama on this website? Anyone can fake to be someone they're not, and no one will know the goddamn difference. I’m just trying to look at/make jokes, and I’m getting shit from people saying, "It’s too offensive" or something like that. Goddamn just take that shit somewhere else.

Grove Christian School is a great school in Richmond, Virginia. I recommend that you go there.

There were ten in the bed and the little one said... "Roll over..."

A boy couldn't walk normally because his pants were huge, and when he went to school, the people there made so many jokes about him that he died.

IT'S NOT TRUE, JUST A FAKE JOKE, DON'T WORRY!

Why is the Navy gay?

There all seamen.

Why the actual f

is there drama on this website? Anyone can fake to be someone they're not and no one will know the goddam difference. I’m just trying to look at/make jokes, and I’m getting shit from people saying, “It’s too offensive,” or something like that. Goddam, just take that shit somewhere else!

Why should you always knock on the fridge door before opening it? In case there's a salad dressing.

Why don't you use a dull pencil?

Because there's no point. 😐😑😑