Thereness jokes
What is one thing humans do before they eat?
They beat their meat to make nuggets.
Knock, knock.
Who is there?
Your Nan.
WHAT? MY NAN IS DEAD!
There is this girl at school, and she gets bullied for being in a wheelchair.
Why doesn’t she stand up for herself?
When you hit a speed bump in a school zone and then you remember there are no speed bumps.
Some kid with parents: "Knock, knock."
Orphan: "Who's there?"
Some kid with parents: "Not your parents."
Memes
Q: Why do women only use their lefts?
A: Because they don't have any rights.
Why can't orphans use iPhones?
There's a home button.
Why can you hit an orphan?
Because they can’t tell their parents.
Okay class, who can tell me who the fastest readers are?
The pilots of 9/11 went through the Twin Towers, 6 in 3 seconds.
I was at the beach today, and there was a big wave.
Somebody went, "Damn, that crashed harder than the Twin Towers." Jack may have survived the towers, but not the crash.
Why can’t orphans go to a family restaurant?
Because there’s no family.
Can an orphan child be arrested for vandalism, or will the officers ask for their parents to talk to?
Why can't orphans go to parents' evening? Because their parents left them.
Jayfeather walks across the street, sees glass smash, runs down the street, and there lies a body... What?
Guys, my girlfriend calls me: "911, help! There’s a strange man in my room and I think he’s on drugs!"
She’s so nice.
What is the cheapest meat?
"Deer balls," they're under a buck!
Q: Why did Stevie Wonder drown?
A: Because there wasn't a lifeguard in sight.
I don't know why there are 26 letters in the alphabet.
Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because there is no home plate.
Knock knock. Who's there? Child. Child who? Child Millissa!