Thereness jokes
Why do people name a kid "Rob?" Because they want him to rob a bank so they could adopt new kids to lock in their basement for a late-night toy.
Knock knock? Who's there? Kanga. Kanga who? Not kangawho, kangaroo!
Knock knock. Who's there? Jo. Jo who? Jo Auntie.
Sally jumped out a plane, she forgot her parachute!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally...
How did she die?
A bomb came down whilst falling through the sky.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
A bomb.
Me: Knock, knock.
Teacher: Who is there?
Me: Boo.
Teacher: Boo who?
Me: Stop being a crybaby and open the door!
Teacher: ......
Me: Aw man, detention again.
Knock knock. Who's there? Hal. Hal who? Hal will you know if you don't open the door?
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay person's house!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
What's the difference between Madlen Makan and Stephen Hawking?
Nothing, they're both dead.
Son: Hey dad, why is my name Canada?
Dad: Because you were made there.
Mum: We haven't been to Canada.
Dad: Hol' up a minute.
Yo mama so fat, she went to space and there was no space left.
Hello there!
The Flanders Song
God said to Noah, "There’s gonna be a floody-floody."
Rain came down, it started to get muddy-muddy.
Get these animals👏out of the arky-arky."
"Leave me alone!"
Is there anything worse than when it's raining cats and dogs? Yes, hailing taxis.
I don't know why there are 26 letters in the alphabet.
There were two sisters. They said they were supporting nine eleven, so I shot one of the sister's kneecaps, and the other sister got shot in the head.
Knock, knock.
Who is there?
Your Nan.
WHAT? MY NAN IS DEAD!
Tesco's slogan is "Every little helps."
Well, their bag did a wonderful job on suffocating my wife.
Why do orphans like the movie Home Alone?
Because they're home alone themselves!
There is this girl at school, and she gets bullied for being in a wheelchair.
Why doesn’t she stand up for herself?
Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the gay man's house?
Knock knock, it's the gay man. There's a chicken at my house.