Thereness jokes
There were two sisters. They said they were supporting nine eleven, so I shot one of the sister's kneecaps, and the other sister got shot in the head.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
I did ap.
I did ap who? (I did a poo)
EEWW you did a poo???
I made a website for orphans. The thing is, there was no homepage.
Tesco's slogan is "Every little helps."
Well, their bag did a wonderful job on suffocating my wife.
Kid: Dad, what's a dark joke?
Dad: Well, you see that guy over there? Tell him to wave.
Kid: But Dad, I'm blind.
Dad: Exactly, also the dude had no arm.
Memes
So I walk into a bar, and there’s people waiting in line to punch me in the face.
That’s the punch line.
There's gonna be 8 planets right after I destroy Uranus.
There are multiple. That’s the joke.
What’s the best part of stage four cancer?
A: There’s no stage five.
There was a house with a three-story building.
The first one had Mexicans.
The second one had Africans.
The third one had white people.
An earthquake came.
But who did survive?
The white family because they were at work.
What does a man masturbating and a mayo bottle have in common?
They can both squirt out their cum.
There were 3 Gay Fish in a Tank. One says to the others: "How do you drive this thing?"
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Q: Why can orphans never be criminals?
A: Because they're never wanted.
Q. What's the best part about 28 year olds?
A. There's 20 of them!
Knock knock. Who's there? Hal. Hal who? Hal will you know if you don't open the door?
Me: Knock, knock.
Teacher: Who is there?
Me: Boo.
Teacher: Boo who?
Me: Stop being a crybaby and open the door!
Teacher: ......
Me: Aw man, detention again.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Orphan.
Orphan who?
Are you my mommy?
What's the difference between Madlen Makan and Stephen Hawking?
Nothing, they're both dead.
Son: Hey dad, why is my name Canada?
Dad: Because you were made there.
Mum: We haven't been to Canada.
Dad: Hol' up a minute.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay person's house!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.