Thereness jokes
Ugly kid, people keep saying I'm ugly.
Me: They're certainly not wrong.
Someone: Didn’t we already meet somewhere?
Me: Yeah. That’s why I don’t go there anymore.
Q. Why did Josh Duggar cross the road?
A. There was a daycare on the other side.
I asked a child where their parents were. They started to cry. I laughed and walked out of an orphanage.
Someone: "I got chickens out there vibin'."
Me: "What? Oh, you mean those over-sized chickens that just show an example of you in real life?"
Someone: . . .
There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.
What do you call two terrorists standing next to each other with their dicks out?
The Twin Towers.
Why can you hit an orphan?
They can't tell their parents.
Two cyclists stop on a bridge. One cyclist says to the other, "Can you see that forest over there?"
The other says, "No, the trees are in the way."
A man is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door.
He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch.
He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.
Three years later there's a knock at the door.
He opens it and sees the same snail.
The snail says, "What was that all about?"
Keep rolling your eyes, maybe you'll find a brain back there.
I went to the orphanage and shot everyone in there. It's not like anyone will attend their funeral.
Knock knock. Who's there? Colin! Colin who? Colonisation!
Just kidding, colonisers don't knock before they come in.
How do cows get their milk? The moo market.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in!
Little Johnny has no arms. Knock, knock, who's there?
Not Johnny.
What's the best competition to do with an orphan?
Which orphan had their parent for the longest?
Why do orphans hate plane rides?
Because there’s no home to come back to.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Ligma.
Ligma who?
Ligma balls.
What does water see in orphans that they don't? Their parents.