Thereness jokes

I see what you did there.

You see a boat filled with people, yet there isn’t a single person on board. How is that possible?

All of them are married!

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

Really, there is an answer, and he never made it across, so...

Why is there a middle school?

Because the kids that go there are middle class families.

Sometimes I wish I could use my school scissors on my heart.

But apparently there is something in your heart, so I already have scissors in my heart.

There's a plane crash. Every single person died.

Who lived? The married people!

Q: If there were two moo cows walking down the street, where would they be going?

A: Home to see their mama!

"Prince? Are you still there?"

Knock knock! Who's there? Prince! Prince who? Prince please talk to me!

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Please.

Please who?

Police, can you stop talking so we can get to the end of the joke.

Lol.

I went up to an orphan and asked where their parents were--they stared.

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Akeld." "Akeld who?" "Assfeild!"

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Abby.

Abby who?

Abby C D E F G!

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Natyourcheese.

Natyourcheese who?

Natyourcheese, I wasn't gonna say bless you!

There was a dino at the library today.

It was reading a thesaurus.

There's an orphan in my class... For some reason, he never leaves.

There are two muffins baking in the oven. One muffin says to the other, “Phew, is it getting hot in here or is it just me?”

The other muffin says, “AAAAHHH!! A TALKING MUFFIN!”

If you’re bored, just punch an orphan.

What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

You want to know how to spot a foster kid?

Them carrying their whole life in a Hefty trash bag.

What's one thing you can say about your house, but not your girlfriend?

"I wish it were this color, why is it leaking there, I need help trimming the grass I mean bushes, I own it."