Thereness jokes
Why did Sally fall off the swing? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.
Why did Sally drop a broom? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.
Why did Sally go swimming? She didn't like not having arms.
Knock knock. "Who's there?" Not Sally, she hasn't come back yet.
Why can't you get water in the North Pole?
Because there is no well.
Q: What did the kid on the airplane say?
A: "Those are two nice towers right there."
Troll your friend by saying "I" and saying "cup," and then tell them that that means "I see you pee."
LOL
There is also "lettuce cup," which means "let us see you pee."
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
I don't know, but the Twin Towers do.
I have had it up to here with you.
(Then there Hight.)
When you want Pringles, but a fat person was eating them, there were only three left, sweety.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause there's no home base...
When you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their mummy?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Abby.
Abby who?
Abby C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z.
The cure for depression is around the corner... There it is, the train.
I walk into a bar. There was a line of people waiting to punch me. Yup. That was the punch line.
When your mom tells you there's a present in the laundry room,
The present: Laundry.
*gunshot*
Why do orphans air?
It’s invisible just like their parents.
Why don't orphans play tag?
Because there's no one to catch.
A proud father has six children. He always calls his wife "mother of six" to her displeasure.
One night at a party, he yells across the room, "Mom of six, we're going now." She replies: "I'll be right there, father of four."
There’s a lot of talk about starting families, but no one ever talks about finishing what they started.
"If two sides in a battlefield read my book, there will be no winner."
Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
Hey, you there, were you raised on a chicken farm? 'Cause you really know how to raise a cock!
Why can orphans never walk home?
Because there's no way to go.