Thereness jokes
I'm pretty socially awkward when talking to girls, so I watched a video on how to keep conversations going.
The guy said to try and find things that remind you of something else and talk about that. For example, "that oak tree over there reminds me of the one we used to climb in my backyard as a kid. It used to be so much fun... and so on."
So next time I was having a conversation with a girl, I saw a red truck. So I said, "that red truck reminds me of the time my house burned down when I was 6." She said, "oh, and the fire trucks came to your house?" And I said, "no, I was getting molested in a red truck when my house burned down."
There are only 2 things I hate in this world:
1. People who are intolerant of other people's cultures. 2. The French.
What did the ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, he just WAVED.
Did you SEA what I did there?
GUY: Yes
Are you SHORE?
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
So my dad tells these jokes and someone posted one on this website so...
How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb? 101, one to hold the light bulb and 100 to spin the house.
There’s also one about a bowling ball in a bath tub he hasn’t told me that though. I'll research that.
I don't trust stairs, they're always up to something.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Who.
Who who?
Who who, I'm an owl.
How to make an orphan's hand bleed? By making them clap until their parents come back.
With a poke-poke here,
And a poke-poke there,
Here a poke, There a poke, everywhere a poke-poke!
Knock knock. Who's there? Dees. Dees who? Dees nuts!
(Or dees nuts in yo mouth!)
Why do orphans have to have customized phones? Because there aren't home buttons.
Knock knock.
Who is there?
WE WILL ASK THE QUESTIONS!
What do you call an orphan when there 18?
Homeless.
There’s no "I" in "sex," but there’s a "U" in "cum."
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Owl say.
Owl say who?
Yes, they do.
I'm playing a game of HANGMAN. Is there an 'S' or a 'C'?
MIKE PEN__E??
If you're ever bored, kick an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
There was a murder. The detective suspected the artist first... because he was sketchy.
Why isn't there a pregnant Barbie doll?
Ken came in another box.
I can tell a joke :)
Twinkle, twinkle, there's a car Coming like a shooting star. I will stand in the way. I will not be seen again. Are you happy I am dead? Now you made it to the end.