Thereness jokes
My friend was feeling low today, so I went up to her and said, "You know, I would hang in there if I was you, swaying through life." I don't think she likes me now.
There's a new Michael Jackson biopic in the works. There is a possibility that we will know who his love interest was.
What we know so far: Billie Jean is not his lover, and that kid [seen with him] is not his son. We also know that Michael Jackson said that sharing his bed with little boys is "healing" and an act of "sharing the love," so take that as you will.
When you ask your brother where his hairline is, and he points where it's supposed to be, and you say, "I don't see one there."
Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms or legs.
What did the little boy get for Christmas? Cancer.
Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
Knock knock.....Who’s there... Not the little boy.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
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There's something on your chin, no, the third one down.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Make them clap until their parents come back.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ketchup.
Ketchup who?
Ketchup my slow tomatoes! 🍅😂
Soldiers, there is one thing you can be sure of: You will be at home with your families, in a jar on the mantelpiece.
I rate the atmosphere of Israel a 10/7; real good stuff there, looks like an actual movie!
There are three types of people in the world: those who can count, and those who can't.
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt quacks.
Guys, if you saw a post from someone pretending to be me, don't listen to them.
I'm just going to be out for 3 days, or maybe for a month break. There are a lot of fakers.
There were three men, and two of them died.
The last man alive said, "That's two less mouths to feed!"
What's the best thing about 28 year olds?
- There's 20 of them.
So there was this kid being bullied by four other kids. I decided to step in.
He didn’t stand a chance against the five of us.
Why do orphans hate going in public?
Because there's kids out with their parents.
Ugh, I hate anons, they're so anonnoying.
There's one shop orphans can't go to, but what is it?
Home Depot.