Thereness jokes
Why can't you play memory snap in the jungle?
Because there are too many cheetahs.
I've thought about suicide, but there's always been a part of me that knows I wouldn't be able to live with the decision.
There's a disabled kid in my class, right? Oops, should've brought my Hot Wheels tracks.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Insomnia.
You'll fit right in along with Depression and anxiety, you can help keep me awake at night because Depression is struggling with that... Well now I can't cry myself to sleep anymore...
Did you know you don't actually wash your hands?
They wash each other while you stand there looking at them like a creep.
Just saying this, but I hate how many little kids there are on this site, and when they post, they have the worst posts about "sex", so I'm just saying how they act immature.
Women are like marshmallows because they're white, squashy, and everyone sticks their stick inside you.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ididap!
Ididapoo!!
There’s a lot of talk about starting families, but no one ever talks about finishing what they started.
There are two doors leading to Heaven: one for henpecked husbands and one for unhenpecked husbands. The line to the door leading to Heaven for henpecked husbands was five abreast and five miles long. The line leading to the door to Heaven for unhenpecked husbands consisted of only one lonely man.
The guys from the henpecked husband line looked at the one man in the unhenpecked husband line and shout, “Hey, Charlie, why are you standing over there for?” Charlie glances over his shoulder and observes a sea of humanity of henpecked husbands as far as the eye can see and says grudgingly, “I don’t know. My wife told me to stand here.”
There's 10 kind of people in the world. Those who know binary and those who don't.
What’s the comparison of an emo and a highlighter?
You can pop their head off.
Why are there no fat people in Japan?
Last time they had a "Fat Man," 80,000 people died.
Why can't emos come out of the closet to their parents?
Because they won't be there to stick around.
Bring a knife into the shower. NEVER gonna see that coming! He pulls the curtain like ‘re re‘ and you're like ‘re re’ yourself, motherfucker, and stab him right in the eye! You thought the psycho was out there? SURPRISE, the psycho’s IN HERE with the Irish Spring on them!
What commitment does a pimp make to each new hoe he turns out?
Answer: He will always be there for her after the break-in period.
My son came up to me and said, "Dad, I'm depressed."
I pointed to the spare room and said, "Hang in there, son."
Why do orphans hate plane rides?
Because there’s no home to come back to.
Why are mountains so funny? Because they're hill-arious! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, very funny!
101 pedo jokes.
Why's everything x2, need to get this shit dick off before the coppers come, it's called women taking advantage, you'll shit the bitcoin, 90% percent of pedo's who don't admit they're like kids blame the police, shit your kappas, you only want my veins why don't you inject me with smack, run in with ya black armbands, I've been sized for a million pound, stop giving me strain asking questions, I know what's going to happen next, bet the judge is a women, jealous coz your drink tastes like shit?
Is it coz your shit though? How many bids have you done? Shit 1 million views, don't try bribe me, did the police give me snip? How's my barbie doll or shall I say my little pony? The police beat fuck outta me, what's all these needle marks on my arm, I can tell you want something, why's everything like one big cycle, police own the dark web.
Keep it going on lol.