Thereness jokes
You have to tell this to a friend:
There are 30 cows in a field. 20 ate 28 chickens. How many didn't? A: 10
Did you know emo kids are the highest jumpers in the world? Some are still up there!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting cow who?
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Are there support groups for men?
When your grades get mailed to your house when you expect to get them in school.
When you get home, your mom is there with the belt, going 1k miles per hour.
Can you imagine what was the last thing that went through their brains?
The knee caps.
What do lesbians and turtles have in common?
They both eat plastic. (I'm sorry to the lesbians out there; this is a joke, not real.)
Why do cheetahs have spots outside of their bodies?
Because they don't have them on the inside.
Why is the orphan happy when he wakes up from a coma?
Because there is a family reunion.
I try and try every day, but 5 keep coming out. There's so money at this point my walls are built of babies.
Yo mama so fat, she meets every world leader there is!
lmao
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
A dragon.
A dragon who?
The dragon gonna drag its balls across your face.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Twins.
Twins who?
Twins go boom boom today on 9/11.
Why should you always knock on the fridge door before opening it? In case there's a salad dressing.
You know stairs, right? The dark... My there is something. I know that if you fall down the stairs, your balls will be crushed!
Did you know you don't actually wash your hands?
They wash each other while you stand there looking at them like a creep.
Let's go punch some orphans, who are they gonna tell, their parents? 🤣🤣🤣
Yesterday my mom forgot to go grocery shopping, and I was starving, so I kept opening the fridge about 100 times, but nothing new was in there.
When you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their mummy?
The cure for depression is around the corner... There it is, the train.