Thereness jokes
I went to the aquarium this weekend, but I didn’t stay long. There’s something fishy about that place.
If your house is cold, just stand in the corner. It's always 90 degrees there.
There are 4 billion women on earth. Why isn't it clean yet?
There's only 3 types of people: the ones who can count and the ones that can't.
Every depressed person just has to say, "I WANT TO JUMP OFF THAT TALL BUILDING RIGHT THERE!" and then points to the building and runs up to it like an immature child, and then they get disappointed when they aren't allowed into the building.
Mary has a house near a forest. She lives with her bro, and she once asked, "How many trees are there?" Her bro said: "I don't know." She said: "Tree."
There is a similarity between my wallet and an onion.
They always make me cry.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Pencil.
Pencil who?
Oh, never mind, it's pointless.
I have some jokes about popcorn.
Nah, they're too corny.
So I walk into Orchids Of Asia. I come out three minutes later with the best massage of my life. What's the catch? Aye, there, matey, the catch of the day be crabs.
Me: Knock knock.
Friend: Who's there?
Me: A broken pencil.
Friend: A broken pencil who?
Me: Nevermind, it's pointless.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Who.
Who who?
Who who, I'm an owl.
Guys, there is no need to worry about anti-vaxxers. The more there are, the less there are.
Knock knock. Who's there? Ach. Ach who? Bless you!
Knock knock. Who's there? Broken pencil. Broken pencil who? Never mind, it's pointless!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the idiot's house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
Prankster kid: Knock knock.
Neighbor: Who's there?
...
Knock knock.
"Who's there?"
A man with a drum.
"Well, tell him to beat it!"
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?
Snow use, you wouldn't get it.
"Can you tie a knot?"
"I cannot."
"So you can knot?"
"No, I cannot knot."
"Not knot?"
"Who's there?"
"F... off!"