Thereness jokes
There were 3 Gay Fish in a Tank. One says to the others: "How do you drive this thing?"
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One day, someone's ex was going to the kitchen to get something to eat, and her ex-boyfriend was there and gave her an apple. Next minute, she had chlamydia. What did the boyfriend do?
When you have an ex, you will notice that the word "ex" is short for "executed," so that's there for yous.
I asked my dad, "Are we there yet?" and he told me, "Don't worry, son, it will be a short ride!"
Teacher: "If you're dumb, stand up."
Nobody stands up.
After some waiting, the teacher says, "Really? No one? There must be someone."
Little Johnny stands up.
"Oh, so you think you're dumb, Johnny?"
"Nah, I just feel bad that you're standing alone."
I was thinking of starting up a stair company, but there were too many steps to it.
What can't you say to an emo?
Hang in there, buddy!
Why do the orphans love going to the bakery down the street so much? Because their cookies are homemade.
Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?
'Cause they don't got balls to scratch.
Is there a really annoying girl at your school and she's so fake? Well, say this:
Me: Hey, I have a nickname for you.
Her: Really? What?
Me: Sweet-in-low.
Her: Why?
Me: Because you're artificial.
Teacher: Little Johnny, why are you late again?
Little Johnny: I had to be there for the birth of our first mixed cow, the white cow fell on the mud! (The teacher faints)
Why are people in Japan always skinny?
Because last time there was a "Fat Man", a whole city disappeared.
Q: How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: I don't know, there are twenty in my basement, and my basement light still isn't fixed.
There was an illegal alien woman who wanted to be called "undocumented." So, I had "undocumented" sex with her and threatened to have her deported if she reported me for rape. I'd call it even.
Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn’t have any arms.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Not Susie.
Why did the orphan die on the road? Because they had no one to hold their hand.
I'm playing a game of HANGMAN. Is there an 'S' or a 'C'?
MIKE PEN__E??
Why do orphans hate smart kids?
Because the smart kids get their parents' attention.
Why do orphans dip their Oreos in water?
Because dad never came back with the milk.
Why are orphans sad when playing Roblox?
There isn't any parents on Roblox.