Thereness jokes

You: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Random person: Why?

You: To get to the idiot's house!

Random person: What?

You: Knock knock.

Random person: Who's there?

You: The chicken.

"Knock, knock?"

"Who's there?"

"Cow said."

"Cow said who?"

"Cow says moo you ding dong!"

Grove Christian School is a great school in Richmond, Virginia. I recommend that you go there.

A sibling went up to their other sibling and said, "Dad said you're adopted."

The other sibling said, "You are, too."

Then the first sibling goes, "No, I'm not."

And the sibling says, "We're twins."

The other kid goes, "And you're adopted... oh."

When there’s an earthquake, coffins become underground maracas.

Have you ever been to the ocean? Well, the smokers out there probably only seaweed!

What's the best thing about twenty-one year olds?

There's twenty-one of them.

A man goes into heaven and there he meets Jesus. He asks Jesus what that broken clock is there for. Jesus says, "That is Mother Teresa's clock, it has never moved because she has never lied." "There is Abraham Lincoln's clock. He has lied twice so it has moved twice." "Where is Donald Trump's?" asks the man. Jesus answers, "It is in my office, I am using it as a ceiling fan."

My joke is about Archer, riddles, sex life. Wait, sorry, there is none.

Thanks for reading Archer’s love life story.

Two tourists climb a mountain that utters certain doom.

One tourist falls down. The tourist that's still on the mountain says, "You ok down there?"

The other tourist says, "Can't I just rest in peace?!"

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Shhhhhhhhhh.

Shhhhhhhhhh who?

Shhhhhhhhhhampoo!

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Cow.

Cow who?

Silly cows go moo!

There were 10 cats on a boat. 1 jumped off. How many were left? I DO NOT KNOW.

There was none left. They were all a bunch of copycats.

What does Bill Cosby and someone eating at McDonald's have in common?

They're both mc lovin' what they're eating.

5 Little Monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said... "Wait, why are there mines all over the floor?"

Why do you never play a game of cards in the jungle? Because there are cheetahs!

Aunt: On the internet, buying weight loss pills for 15 dollars.

Niece: I found that show on Netflix that you wanted to watch. It's 3 dollars to watch.

Aunt: I'm not paying for that shit.

Niece: Yet you sit there and buy weight loss pills.

Albert is a homophobic guy. His cousin Franco is also a homophobic guy.

Albert's aunt and cousin have visited his parents, but Albert didn't know that because he came late at night. Franco was sleeping in Albert's bed, thinking he would not come home. Albert laid on his bed, thinking there was no one on it, and then they started fucking ^_*

No phobia lasts forever 👌😂

One day there was a boy who needed the toilet, so he goes to his teacher and asks if he can go to the toilet. The teacher says "yes, but before you go, what are the first 3 letters in the alphabet?" The boy replies, "I don't know, miss..." The teacher says that he will have to wait.

Later, the boy goes home to his mom who is on the phone. He asks, "What is the first letter in the alphabet?" His mom says, "Oh, shut up!" So the boy goes to his dad who is playing darts and says, "What is the second letter in the alphabet?" His dad says "180!" So the boy goes to his sister who is playing with her Barbies. The boy asks, "What is the 3rd letter in the alphabet?" The sister says, "I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world!"

The next day, the boy goes to school and needs the toilet again, so he goes to ask if he can go, and the teacher says, "Yes, but before you go, what are the 3 letters in the alphabet?" The boy says, "Oh, shut up!" The teacher is angry about that, so she says, "What is the second one?" "180!" says the boy, and the teacher asks him where he is from, and the boy says, "I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world!"

The end.

Q: Why do men say "ladies first?"

A: So they can look at their a**.