There jokes
Me be straight and bored.
Goes to my local bar which has a glory hole.
Out up spending the rest of the night there.
About to leave when, motherfucker, I realize I've been sucking a guy's cock this whole time.
):
I don't understand why the Twin Towers were super upset.
Their pizza just got there a lot faster by plane.
Why do orphans want to die?
Because they might see their parents in Heaven.
How do pedophiles get kids to suck their d**k?
They spray paint it like candy 🍬.
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!”
The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
Why does an orphan start with an "O"?
Because they only see their parents in their dream.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
I eat mop.
A-I eat mop who?
Little Johnny got detention because when he was walking to lunch, he saw a bowl of apples and there was a note on it that said, "Take 1, God is watching." He continued walking and saw a bowl of cookies that said, "Take 1, please." So little Johnny made his own note and he wrote, "Take as many cookies as you want, God is watching the apples."
For all those Simpsons fans out there, this one I'm sure you know:
Abe: "It's rotten being old. No one listens to you."
Lisa: "It's awful being a kid. No one listens to you."
Homer: "I'm a white male, aged 18-49. Everyone listens to me--no matter how dumb my suggestions are."
Why are there a lot of whites in hockey?
It’s the only other job that involves beating something black other than being a cop.
Why can’t an orphan get arrested?
Because they're not wanted.
What do emo kids and Hitler have in common?
There's gonna be more brains on the wall when they lose something.
There are only women's rights causes because they leave you.
There's going to be a party at the orphanage tonight. I'm bringing a gun.
You walk into a room, and there’s a lot of people waiting in line to punch you... Yeah, that’s the punchline.
What fell first, the feather or the depressed kid?
Q: The feather, the depressed kid is still up there.
Hey guys. I just wanted to say, while I think some rape jokes can be funny, not one of these are. In fact, I find them pretty horrifying.
I was raped when I was fourteen (about six years ago), and I have made one rape joke in my entire life when, last year, I said "I don't fuck with rapists, I just get fucked by them." I thought it was funny. No one else did, and they were probably right in that.
My point is this: rape jokes CAN be funny when they are used by victims as a way of coping with trauma. They CANNOT be funny when they are made about raping someone else. Even if there is a difference between joking about raping someone and raping someone, it is absolutely disgusting to think such a horrific crime is funny, and I am sure at least some of the posters on this page have already crossed the line into committing rape.
Great material for social scientific research, though, gentlemen. Really well done.
Why do emo kids love dressing up on Halloween so much?
It's their last holiday for them, but at least they're still hanging on...
What do depression and suicide have in common?
Nothing, they're both hanging.
The first thing the emo did at the party is to pin the gun to their head.