Theology jokes
God, when terminally ill children beg him to heal them:
God: No, I don’t want to.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Golly.
Golly who?
Godly leave me alone!
What did Satin say to God??
"Bitch, what the fuck you looking at?"
Maggot.
If we can't say "God" in vain, why does He get to?
Girl: "Daddy!"
Father: "Do I love you?"
Girl: "I'm a... a girl!"
Father: "Mhm!"
Woman: "Daddy?"
Father: "Of course?"
Woman: "I'm a girl too!"
Father: "Does God love children?"
Boy: "Yessss..."
You're so dark that even God's light can't shine upon you.
HELP! I MIGHT BE A RELIGIOUS EXTREMIST BECAUSE MY RHYMES ARE DA BOMB.
Why did God make the devils die?
God is great!
God.
Nothing is funny about the Name who died an agonizing death, was mocked, spit on, and humiliated all because we were sinners and God saved us so we could be free from the punishment of sin.
Jesus is sinless and perfect and loving. How dare you!
Jesus got rejected. A few years later, he died. He came back just to lose his virginity because even Jesus is not a fucking cunt.
How did Mary get pregnant with baby Jesus?
God fucked her.
God, aka Mr. Universe said he was God's gift to this earth, but where is he?
If I tell you, "Jesus is the trickster," am I, or is he?
Lucifer is caged by Jesus, cuz he got tired of being alone on a pedestal.
Have you seen my uncle?
Jesus: I have.
God: Me too.
Why did God create women with pussies?
Because:
1. Of course, God is a man.
2. Of course, he isn't gay.
3. Of course, he is a perv too (for wanting more pussies)!
If you argued that God was a woman, 49.8% of the US population would try and raise Hell.
Just to ask the other guy.
Talk about a male supremacist religion.
Why Satan didn't stop sending messages to God about hell?
'Cause they made a juice out of him.