Theology jokes
Why did Jesus create the Devil?
He didn't recognize himself through the time portal.
Stephen Hawking said there is no god.
God said there is no Stephen Hawking.
I believe Alia is a true god because they say in the beginning there was an explosion.
How did Jesus become self-sovereign?
He screws himself and becomes his own creator.
The second coming came and went. Jesus believed he was a Christian; therefore, he could never be himself.
If God didn’t mean for us to have sex with 11-year-old girls, why did he make them so sexy and so much physically weaker?
God = what I hope to be.
Devil = what I can't accept.
I hope to be like Jesus, a dead martyr. I can't accept that my religion is evil.
What did one God say to the other?
"I will die to be a man."
Boy: *scares girl*
Girl: "Gosh, you scared me, Jesus!"
Jesus: *Arrives out of nowhere and said, "What is it, human? I got work to do."*
Girl: What work?
Jesus: "Coming out of nowhere when people say 'Jesus.'"
Q: What do Satan and a priest have in common?
A: They both love naughty souls.
God needed an extra two hands to make your fat ass of a mother.
ICH BIN GOTT.
Why does Satan worship himself?
Jesus told him to worship God.
The Virgin Mary wasn't a virgin; she was a prostitute. God raped her.
Adam and Eve had 3 male children, the only children on Earth. How did they reproduce?
In the movie "Cars 2", there is a priest, which means car Jesus died for the sins of the cars.
A true God would be godless himself.
In the Bible, it says Jesus died for our sins, but he came back to life, so what did he sacrifice?
Was it a weekend to wash away our sins?
God's consciousness: Art.
God's unconsciousness: Christianity.
Jesus has died on the cross to take away our sins. He has all power, but he won’t abuse it. He will help us through tough times. Have you ever felt that feeling in you that something is a bad idea? That’s Jesus. He is the savior and never let anyone say different.
Our Lord will watch us. We will go to Heaven, the promised land, only as long as we believe he’s real and always here. Don’t let anyone speak less and make you disbelieve in our Lord. This is your choice: believe and go to Heaven, or don’t believe and go to Hell, an eternal death. Make a choice.