Them jokes
Is that a mirror in your pants? Cause I can see myself inside them.
What's the difference between a hamster and a cigarette?
They're both harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.
I was going to kill them with kindness, but then I realized using a knife is a lot faster.
How to kill a blind person.
Give them a gun and tell them it's a hairdryer.
Women have eggs and milk in them...
And they say that they don't belong in the kitchen.
What do you do when you see a kid alone? You beat them up and say, "It was self-defense!"
What’s the difference between Jesus and a hooker?
The look on their face when you're nailing them.
What does a baby and a hand grenade have in common?
They both make noise when you throw them.
Alright, so I have a few orphan jokes. I'm gonna put them all in one message.
Why can't orphans be gay? They have no one to call "daddy."
Why can't orphans go on a field trip? Parent signature: ______
New teacher: I used to be an orphan as a kid. Students: hahaha Teacher: Is anyone missing? Students: No one, just your parents.
Why did the orphan become a prostitute? They kept calling everyone "daddy."
Why do orphans have the iPhoneX? Because it has no home button.
What does a blondie and a shotgun have in common?
Give them a cock and they're ready to blow.
Women are like rolls of toilet paper. They are either really cheap or expensive, you use them a lot, and they deal with a lot of sh*t.
A man came up to a girl about to jump off a cliff. The man said, "Why?" She then replies, "There are many monsters in this world, and I am one of them."
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends, how hard can you throw them?
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
Did you know you don't actually wash your hands?
They wash each other while you stand there looking at them like a creep.
What's better than throwing dead babes?
Catching them after with a pitchfork.
"Twins sitting in class."
Me: Casually throws a paper plane at them.
People at my school have started to wear Logan Paul merch. I try to give them a high five, but they always leave me hanging.
Paddy's beautiful wife has not had an orgasm for the 15 years they have been married.
The doctor suggests that she may be overheating during sex, and a cool breeze may help.
Being a bit of a cheapo, he decides not to buy a fan but asks his friend Mick to waft a towel over them during the act.
After half an hour, still no sign of success, so his mate suggests swapping places. "I'll have a try, Paddy, you waft the towel."
Paddy agrees, and after two or three minutes, Paddy's wife has a moment of sexual pleasure, screaming in ecstasy for the first time in 15 years.
Paddy taps his mate Mick on the shoulder and says, "And that, Mick, is how you waft a bloody towel!"
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Make them clap until their parents come back.