Them jokes

What do noodles and women have in common? They both wiggle when you eat them.

Did you hear about the guy that was cutting off people's feet and taking them?

It took my sole.

What would you call a person who hides in a house for 24 hours and then kills them?

Morgz.

Most women are like the Twin Towers.

It's all fun and good when guys fly through them, but once the little people come jumping off them, it becomes sad and awful.

So I saw a bag full of children near a dumpster. I guess we know where the orphans are when the parents didn’t want them.

Wouldn’t want to hope a Catholic priest comes along, otherwise the priest will have new sex toys.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? One of them gets picked.

Q: How do you make an emo kid happy?

A: Give them a Happy Meal.

There was this emo kid giving a high five to a tree... but the tree left them hanging :)

If someone licks your elbow, you won't feel it.

If you put your ear up to someone's leg, you can hear them say, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"

Subway trying to commemorate 9/11: CRASH INTO SUBWAY THIS SUBTEMBER 11TH TO GET 2 FOOTLONG SUBS FOR ONLY $9.11, THAT'S 2 FOOTLONG SUBS FOR $9.11 AND WATCH THEM FALL... INTO YOUR MOUTH!

I once saw a kid walking down the street crying. So I asked them, "Hey kid, where are your parents?" And he started to cry even more...

"Huh. I wonder why he was so sad..." I said as I walked into the orphanage.

What makes genders and Twin Towers similar?

There used to be two of them, and now it's a sensitive subject.

What's the difference between an orphan and a slice of pizza?

Nothing, I eat both of them.

What happens when a depressed kid try’s to high-five a tree?

The tree leaves them hanging.

Why do orphans never get a car?

Because their parents need to buy them one.

To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos.

Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.

I don't see why people say that emo kids don't like to hang out.

I've seen them hanging all day.

Why can orphans never go to the shops?

'Cause the Talibans will plane dive into them.

What do a deaf person and an orphan have in common? Neither of them can hear their parents.

Why do humans hate aliens?

Because Fortnite took them out of the game, and I want aliens back in Fortnite!