Them jokes

Subway

Subway trying to commemorate 9/11: CRASH INTO SUBWAY THIS SUBTEMBER 11TH TO GET 2 FOOTLONG SUBS FOR ONLY $9.11, THAT'S 2 FOOTLONG SUBS FOR $9.11 AND WATCH THEM FALL... INTO YOUR MOUTH!

Twin Towers

What makes genders and Twin Towers similar?

There used to be two of them, and now it's a sensitive subject.

Orphan

What do a deaf person and an orphan have in common? Neither of them can hear their parents.

Emo kid

I don't see why people say that emo kids don't like to hang out.

I've seen them hanging all day.

Alien

Why do humans hate aliens?

Because Fortnite took them out of the game, and I want aliens back in Fortnite!

Pilot

I'm a pilot and my boss told me to fly people to New York, so I flew them to New York and hit the towers. That was a tragic story.

Orphan

Why do orphans never get a car?

Because their parents need to buy them one.

Democracy

To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos.

Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.

Orphan

What's the difference between an orphan and a slice of pizza?

Nothing, I eat both of them.

Relationship

What can you tell [as] a difference between [a] man and a woman [in a] relationship?

Both of them are just full of shit.

Orphan

Why can orphans never go to the shops?

'Cause the Talibans will plane dive into them.

Tree

What happens when a depressed kid try’s to high-five a tree?

The tree leaves them hanging.

Elbow

If someone licks your elbow, you won't feel it.

If you put your ear up to someone's leg, you can hear them say, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"

Woman

Most women are like the Twin Towers.

It's all fun and good when guys fly through them, but once the little people come jumping off them, it becomes sad and awful.

Woman

Three old women are sitting on a park bench. A man in a trench coat comes and flashes them.

The first woman had a stroke. The second woman had a stroke. The third woman couldn't quite reach.

Kid

There was this emo kid giving a high five to a tree... but the tree left them hanging :)

Gravity

Why do basketball players hate gravity?

Because it's always bringing them down.

House

What would you call a person who hides in a house for 24 hours and then kills them?

Morgz.