Them jokes
What do women and chess have in common? When you sacrifice the females and replace them, you are more likely to win.
Brother 2: We have these weird circles on the street! Government is tracking us!!!
Brother 1: They are just to sense cars so they can change lights. And it's the government.
Brother 2: Then why are there two in the left turn lane?
Brother 1: So one car isn't always going left and stopping the others.
Brother 2: Then why are they one car apart? Oh, to have three people going.
Brother 1: Correct. When I see one car on the first, I go on the second so my light changes.
Brother 2: You monster.
Brother 1: I wonder if they trigger by weight?
Brother 2: HA. Yo mama would trigger the sensor.
Brother 1: ARG. It's OUR MAMA you're disrespecting.
Mother (brother 1): What's going on boys? *looks in mirror* HOLY SH@& SHE IS PRETTY!
Brother 2: I think you should take your pills.
Brother 1: Found them.
*imaginary mother and brother fade away*
Thank you ELECTROBOOM for inspiring this joke/sh!t. Go subb to him.
Btw the (1) means it is just imaginary brother one acting like another brother.
Why can't orphans go to parents' evening? Because their parents left them.
So, you're into pronouns? Let me she/them titties.
There were three men, and two of them died.
The last man alive said, "That's two less mouths to feed!"
If your eyes were the sea, I would drown in them.
What is the difference between the government and organized crime?
Only one of them is organized.
You know they say, when you get lemons make lemonade... Well, I took that a little bit too literal.
Turns out squeezing your wife's tits as hard as you can hurts them.
But at least lemonade came out!
Why can't you teach an orphan new tricks?
Because there is no one to teach them.
I punched an orphan and told him to go back to his parents and tell them about it... Oh, wait.
Why do orphans play GTA?
To make them feel wanted.
I bought some sneakers from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been trippin' all day.
What did the cheese say to itself in the mirror?
"Halloumi, who's the tastiest of them all?"
How to make an orphan die?
Tell them to yell until their folks come home.
Why did Mexicans go to Area 51?
To show them what a real illegal alien looks like.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed? Tell them to clap til' their parents get home.
Dark humor is like having parents, not everybody gets them.
What do a deaf person and an orphan have in common? Neither of them can hear their parents.
How do you get 500 babies in a phone booth?
A blender.
How do you get them out?
A straw.
Scrolled through all of them, still haven't laughed.