Them jokes
Why aren’t short people allowed to be mentors?
Because you can’t look up to them.
Yesterday, there was a blackout on my street.
So I sold them.
What is the difference between women and cars?
At least one of them retained their value after getting wrecked.
My wife and I have decided that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
What’s the difference between a child and someone who has been kidnapped?
One of them is a domesticated pet.
Why are orphans so bad at dodgeball?
Because nobody misses them.
Neither of them respect boundaries.
Why can't orphans ride a bike?
'Cause their parents won't follow them.
Some people are such treasures that you sometimes just wanna bury them.
I saw a kid crying in the corner. I asked them where their parents are. Man, I love working at an orphanage!
What in the world jumps the highest? Emo kids, some of them are still in the air.
Why does Darth Vader always choke people?
Because he wants them to feel what his Sith Lord does to him in bed.
(True story) Today I was bringing some tortilla chips upstairs for some chips and dip, and I dropped them, so my mom goes “Oh, now they’re broken.”
And I took an opportunity to make a pun, so I said, “No, they’re just chipped.”
Hey, people don't fly with suicide jokes.
In fact, they hang with them!
Why does Michael Jackson like twenty-eight year olds?
'Cause there are twenty of them.
What's the same about a newborn and a football?
You can kick them both very easily.
Why are friends good at dodgeball? Because no one misses them.
Women are like towers, the man wants to bang them both.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
What part of "Another One Bites the Dust" do you sing to a disabled person to make fun of them? "I'm standing on my own two feet."