Them jokes
What's the different between Stephen Hawking and Rocket League? Both of them can't stand up.
Bestie Hannah heard that bestie Iz had a migraine! What did she do? She said, "My grains don’t hurt that much, at least not when the animals eat them!"
"Why do cemeteries have fences around them? Because everyone's dying to get in!"
How do you get 100 dead babies into a tub? Put them in the blender.
How do you get them out of the tub? Give mexicans tortilla chips and tell them theres salsa in the tub.
A teenage guy is taking a girl to a dance. First, he goes to buy her flowers, but there’s a really long line at the florist. Finally, he buys them.
Then, he goes to rent a tux, but there’s a really long line for that, too. After a few hours, he gets the tux.
That night, he picks up the girl and they go to the school for the dance. There’s a long line to get in that goes halfway around the school. A while later, they finally get in. They dance and talk for a while, then the guy gets thirsty, so he goes over to the table to get punch. There is no punch line.
Yo mama so old, I bet she was born when dinosaurs were made, and also she killed them with they breath! 😭😭
How do you get 500 babies in a phone booth?
A blender.
How do you get them out?
A straw.
Why was the rapper always in shape?
Because he dropped so many BARS, he had to stay fit to pick them up!
What do a condom and a gun have in common? You should never use either one of them.
The sad thing is when they ride the scooters in Wal-Mart... Really, you declining to walk is what got your fat ass in that scooter to begin with... And damned if they aren't buying diet soda... Please... cull this shit... We don't need them in society... KFC is not a disease.
What would a tree do if a depressed kid tried to high five it?
I would leave them hanging.
High school crush: Why do you always look so sad?
Me: My mom is dead, and my favorite grandma, and my uncle killed both of them, and now he's in jail.
High school crush: Shit. Sorry about that.
Me: And my crush hasn't asked me out.
High school crush: Who is it?
Me: You.
Him: Goodbye (as he runs away and never comes back)
Me: Fuck that.
Being bullied by an artist? Want them to leave you alone?
www.VincentVanGoghAway.com
Why do trees never call Emos? Because they always hang up on them.
Why do emos like circles? Because they can hang out with them.
Why didn't the orphans stay at the park for days? Because they had no one to pick them up.
What's an orphan's best friend? A boomerang because it's the only thing that ever came back.
What do you call a person with 2 black eyes?
Nothing, you told them twice.
So, my friend and I were talking this time. I asked them what they would do if they ever met Rengoku. They said that they would probably like shake his hand or something, but I said I would lick his forehead. Wtf?
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Well, it depends on how hard you throw them.
What do you call a bad bitch? You call them stupid bitches.