Them jokes
Why do we not have female magicians? Because last time we had them, we burned them alive.
Women are like rolls of toilet paper. They are either really cheap or expensive, you use them a lot, and they deal with a lot of sh*t.
I don't like them white, pale, always talking about death EMO kids!
Sorry, I meant CHEMO kids.
What's the best thing about fucking 21 year olds?
There's 20 of them.
No one.
Why are priests called father?
I don’t know why.
Because calling them daddy is too suspicious.
Hey guys. I just wanted to say, while I think some rape jokes can be funny, not one of these are. In fact, I find them pretty horrifying.
I was raped when I was fourteen (about six years ago), and I have made one rape joke in my entire life when, last year, I said "I don't fuck with rapists, I just get fucked by them." I thought it was funny. No one else did, and they were probably right in that.
My point is this: rape jokes CAN be funny when they are used by victims as a way of coping with trauma. They CANNOT be funny when they are made about raping someone else. Even if there is a difference between joking about raping someone and raping someone, it is absolutely disgusting to think such a horrific crime is funny, and I am sure at least some of the posters on this page have already crossed the line into committing rape.
Great material for social scientific research, though, gentlemen. Really well done.
Why can’t balls move? Because no one is there to voice them around.
A man saw a lady with big breasts. He asked, "Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?" She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes. Eventually, the lady asks, "Aren't you gonna bite them?" He replies, "No, it's too expensive."
My therapist told me to write letters to the people you hate and then burn them.
I did that, but now I don't know what to do with the letters.
Why do gay men like the filling in Hostess Twinkies?
It reminds them of cum. 😋 😍 😏 😜
Orphans have feelings too, but I don't understand why it's fun to make fun of them, right?
Why are Indians such good actors?
Most of them are phone scammers.
What is a Mexican's favorite sport??
Cross country because they don't need to be in America. Mexico was made for them.
Why are orphans so bad at dodgeball?
Because no one misses them.
Old people kept saying "you're next" to me at weddings, so I started saying it to them at funerals.
Jeff, did you hear they're making a film about Jimmy Savile? It’s a very touchy subject.
Yeah, I did, Gary, but did you hear the reviews on the Bill Cosby film? People said it was so boring it put them to sleep.
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One of them turned to the other and said, "Does this taste funny to you?"
People shouldn't worry about how orphans would feel reading these jokes. It's not like they have parents to buy them a phone or computer to see them, or even a place to charge them even if they did have one.
All right, I know one joke. Um, there's a mollusk, see? And he walks up to a sea...
Well, he doesn't walk up, he swims up.
Well, actually, the mollusk isn't moving, he's in one place.
And then the sea cucumber, well, they... I mixed up.
There was a mollusk and a sea cucumber. None of them were walking, so forget that...
There was this mollusk and he walks up to a sea cucumber. Normally they don't talk, sea cucumbers, but in a joke, everyone talks.
So just then, the sea cucumber looks over to the mollusk and says, "With fronds like these, who needs anemones?"
What has more brains than the Columbine students? The wall behind them, xD.