Them jokes
Two boys came home for dinner late, and their mother asked, "Where have you boys been?" One of them replied with, "We were all over the neighborhood, we're mailmen now." Their snobby teen sister said, "Well, you're not real mailmen, real mailmen use real letters." Then one of the boys said, "Actually, we used real letters, we found a whole box of them under your bed."
I bet when 2 cheetahs race and one of them cheats, the other one says, "You're such a cheetah!" Then they laugh and go and eat a zebra or whatever.
My therapist told me to write angry letters to those that upset me and never send them.
He is really going to hate the letter he never gets.
What’s the difference between Jesus and a prostitute?
The look they give you while you’re nailing them.
Why can't orphans be home schooled?
Because they have no parent to home school them.
Why do emo kids love dressing up on Halloween so much?
It's their last holiday for them, but at least they're still hanging on...
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
Friends are like penguins: if you stab them, they die. 😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈
Why are priests called father? Because it's too sus to call them daddy!
Why do orphans have no parents?
Because no one loves them.
What’s the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
Getting them back in the wheelchair.
Do you know how to make an orphan's hands bleed?
Tell them to clap until their parents come home.
I can't make any more songs because nobody likes them. So when you see a song you like, give it a like so I can continue making more songs.
If anyone would like a song played, type it in the comments. Type the name of the song, then type the person who made the song, the songwriter. Sincerely, Watersharky Music Productions.
My friend asked me why I know how to tie a noose.
I told them, "because I’m such a noose-ance."
Women are like iPhones, you have to touch them all over before they respond. Men are like Blackberrys, rub one ball and everything moves!
Yo mama so fat when she went to the movie theater, she sits next to everyone.
If it's true what they say and I quote, "God never gives you more than you can handle," then you should pray to those who didn't, that God gave them a body strong enough to survive the attempt.
Diabetic wives are like Cillit Bang. Squeeze them a bit and bang! The bed is gone.
Don't see why people say that babysitting a toddler is hard. You just grease the bathtub, put them inside with some food and drink, and go do your business. I guarantee you that they will still be there when you return.
If you stay in the house, you might need to use sound cancelling headphones too, though.
Why is it so hard to play hide-and-seek in an orphanage?
Because nobody is looking for them.