Them jokes
My elderly relatives like to tease me at weddings, saying, "You'll be next!"..
They soon stopped though, when I started to do the same to them at funerals.
What do babies and explosives have in common?
They both make a noise when you throw them.
Why are gay men better than straight women?
Because gay men are more willing to look after kids once they swallow them.
What do trannies and jokes about them have in common?
Neither of them get old.
What's the difference between a feminist and a pencil?
One of them has a POINT:)
I only kidnapped orphans because they have no parents to report them missing.
Why do they call them apartments when they are together?
Me: You have pretty eyes.
Her: Thank you.
Me: I can make them roll back 😈🥴
An infinite amount of mathematicians walked into a bar. The first ordered a pint, the second ordered a half pint, the third ordered a fourth-pint, etc. The Bartender eventually walked up and gave them two pints and said: "You mathematicians don't know your limits."
Hate me all you want, but I rather love bullying in all fairness. I love to watch all the loner kids being abused while simultaneously making a prediction for when which one of them will finally snap and shoot up the school.
The reason why women have suffered longer than men is because men are using women and abusing them as tools and property, which they aren’t.
During WWII, women were used every day by evil men for not being able to have sex with their wives, and Muslim women are being raped, women children are being raped every day while you fucking turds of human shit are making jokes of issues that need to stop, so stop with the homophobia, Islamophobia, biphobia and all the other phobias, make sexual harassment, assault and rape victims' voices heard, we will not stay silent because of this shitty app!
Also, God created women equally as men, do not mistreat your sisters, mothers, aunts, mother-in-laws. Hope all you rapists, sexual abusers, sexual assaulters rot in hell where you deserve to be, not in this country or any other place, hell is where you belong. 😡🤬🖕🏻🖕🏼🖕🏽🖕🏾🖕🏿
What's a similarity between blondes and a vacuum cleaner? You have to turn them on before they start to suck.
I bought shoes from a drug dealer. I know he LCD'd them and all, but I have been tripping all day.
Did you know that...the only reason you don't call priests "daddy" is because that's what you call them in sex!
Your mommy.
A short person should never piss off a fat person taller than them. The fat person just has to lean slightly, and it's 9/11 all over again.
What’s the name of this brand? *picture of puma logo*
Them: Puma
“Puma balls in yo mouth.”
What do dicks and Rubik's Cubes have in common?
The more you play with them, the harder they get.
One day whilst walking up a hill, Jack saw a prostitute named Jill. Jill was dressed in kinky, leather gear that made Jack really, really horny.
Jack, who hadn't stuck it in for a few weeks, was keen to ask this sexy young maiden how much she would charge. "1 buck for a suck, 2 buck for a fuck," she said as she stroked his ever-hardening one-eyed snake.
"Yeah, I'll have both of them," said Jack, who was about to cum in his trousers. So Jill led Jack to behind the well, and they sucked and fucked for an hour. After that, they both contracted AIDS and died of it, as they did not see a doctor. THE END
Why do blonde prostitutes prefer blowjobs?
They hate it when you hand it to them.
What is the difference between a retard and a zombie anyway?
They’re always hungry and shuffle around aimlessly, moaning... Oh, and it takes a bullet in the forehead to put them both down.
Uh!!!