Them jokes
What is the difference between women and cars?
At least one of them retained their value after getting wrecked.
My wife and I have decided that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
How did the Emo kid bag all the cheerleaders?
He hit them all when he started shooting his shot.
An officer confronts two congressmen.
He informs them, \"I’m looking for a couple of child molesters.\"
The two look at each other, turn to the officer and exclaim, \"Sure! We’ll do it!\"
Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?
So you can tell them apart from the feminists.
What in the world jumps the highest? Emo kids, some of them are still in the air.
Why can't orphans ride a bike?
'Cause their parents won't follow them.
Some people are such treasures that you sometimes just wanna bury them.
Yesterday, there was a blackout on my street.
So I sold them.
Why aren’t short people allowed to be mentors?
Because you can’t look up to them.
(True story) Today I was bringing some tortilla chips upstairs for some chips and dip, and I dropped them, so my mom goes “Oh, now they’re broken.”
And I took an opportunity to make a pun, so I said, “No, they’re just chipped.”
I saw a kid crying in the corner. I asked them where their parents are. Man, I love working at an orphanage!
Neither of them respect boundaries.
Hey, people don't fly with suicide jokes.
In fact, they hang with them!
Why are orphans bad at basketball?
They haven't learned how to keep the ball with them.
Why are friends good at dodgeball? Because no one misses them.
Women are like towers, the man wants to bang them both.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
What does a baby and a grenade have in common?
They both make noise after you throw them.
Why are orphans so bad at dodgeball?
Because nobody misses them.