Them jokes

Man: How do you prepare your chicken?

Waiter: Nothing special, we just tell them they’re going to die.

Man 1: Hey, I heard you survived a school shooting. What was it like?

Man 2: People were screaming and running everywhere. I was only able to get a few of them.

Why does Mexico not have an Olympic team?

Because all of them that can jump, swim, and run are already here.

What happens to grapes when you step on them? They wine.

My wife and I have reached the decision that we do not want children.

If anyone does, please comment your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

How many push-ups can Chuck Norris do?

All of them.

Why do we put round pizzas in square boxes and eat them as triangles?

I don’t get why Katniss was bitching so much in ‘The Hunger Games’ books. Ethiopia has been competing for years and I don’t hear any of them complaining.

If two blind people meet, one of them says: "Long time, no see!"

Jokes about communism aren't funny unless everyone gets them.

Yesterday, there was a blackout on my street.

So I sold them.

Why aren’t short people allowed to be mentors?

Because you can’t look up to them.

What is the difference between women and cars?

At least one of them retained their value after getting wrecked.

Hey, people don't fly with suicide jokes.

In fact, they hang with them!

What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common? There used to be two of them, but now it's a sensitive subject.

How did the Emo kid bag all the cheerleaders?

He hit them all when he started shooting his shot.

Why does Darth Vader always choke people?

Because he wants them to feel what his Sith Lord does to him in bed.

Why does Michael Jackson like twenty-eight year olds?

'Cause there are twenty of them.

How do you piss off a midget?

Give them a yo-yo and tell them to play with it.

Why should you always give an emo a high five in the hallway? You can’t leave them hanging.