Them jokes
What do women and chess have in common? When you sacrifice the females and replace them, you are more likely to win.
Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?
Neither one of them, they eat out.
There is a difference between my brother and Stephen Hawking; at least one of them does something.
Why can orphans stay out until whatever time?
Because their parents won't tell them when to come home.
What's the difference between 911 and a Mexican gardener?
One of them is an outside job.
My friend: Yo stupid.
Me: Is that right, and what exactly have you done in your lifetime that makes you Einstein?
My friend: *rolls eyes and says whatever.*
Me: Keep on rolling them, you might find your brain in there.
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer.
I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
What's the difference between a hooker and Jesus?
Their face when you nail them!
Like if you listen to Kidd G.
Comment if you listen to Polo G.
Share if you listen to NBA Youngboy.
Do all if you listen to all of them and you all of them if Kobe Bryant is a legend.
What’s the difference between a mother and a fetus at an abortion office? Only one of them is scared.
Kids are cute, not even joking. Wanking is easy around them.
Why did the students eat their homework?
Because the teacher told them it was a piece of cake!
What is the difference between a condom and an orphan?
One of them is used.
I invented a time-traveling machine and traveled back to Pangea. I warned the dinosaurs about the deadly asteroid. They told me, "It wasn't an asteroid... it was Pionel Pessi's penalty ball ricocheted from Mars that made them extinct." Tears ran down my face. Shame on you, Pessi!
A young woman goes for her first gynecological exam, and the nurse has her take off her clothes, put on a gown, and get in the stirrups. She tells her the doctor will be in in a minute.
The doctor comes in and tells the young lady that she has one of the most beautiful vaginas he’s ever seen, and he has seen a lot of them. She thanks him for the compliment. He tells her he is about to start the examination, but he is going to have to numb her first, when she says ok, he goes:
"Num num num num num!"
A woman once didn't return home for the night, and the next morning when she arrived home, her husband started questioning her about where she had been. She lied, saying she slept at one of her friends' houses.
The man proceeded to call all her friends, all of whom denied her sleeping at their places the previous night.
Meanwhile, somewhere else, a man didn't return home to his wife for the night either. The following morning, his wife started questioning him, and he lied, saying he slept at a friend's house. She proceeded to call all his friends. All of them said that he indeed slept at their places the previous night, and one of them even insisted that he's still there, but he's using the bathroom and he can't talk right now!
You're walking one day and a little kid, about 5-6 years old, comes up to you asking, "What's a condom?" You have to give that child the wrong answer, what would you tell them? Comment on what you would tell them.
Hello, I am Sflugo. I am opening the Pro Orphan Joke Club because a lot of people are saying to get rid of them, but we say NO! If you want to join, comment and say, "#SaveOrphanJokes."
A short person should never piss off a fat person taller than them. The fat person just has to lean slightly, and it's 9/11 all over again.
How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb in the middle of the night?
I don't know, I can never see them.