Them jokes

Family

    • Son: “Mom, is there a thing called «friendship» between a man and a woman?”

    Mother: “No Son, unless if he’s gay.”

    Son: “So your friend is gay?”

    Mother with herself: «How did he see me with michael omg if my husband discovered my cheating he will kill me»

    Mother: “Mmm.. Yes.”

    Father loudly: “YES!!!”

    Mother: “What in the hell? Are you gay?”

    Father with himself: «Am i an idiot why did i yell?! if she discovered I’m gay and her son was made by Paul’s semens she will kill me»

    Father: “No what are saying? I’m just talking with myself.”

    *A few hours later*

    Mother: “I will go to visit my mother.”

    Father: “Me too I will go to visit my mother.”

    Son: “Not me too I will go to stud with my friends.”

    The mother and the father goes to michael’s house and they found their son playing with Michael and Paul is recording them and saying: «that’s why I love you my actual son oh only if your mother knows».

    *The End* :D

  • 1

    • Teacher

    • A teacher asked a class who killed Goliath. The first pupil said he wasn’t the one. The second said he doesn’t know. No one knew in the class.

    The teacher got furious and dashed to the Head Master’s office to report. Immediately, the head master followed him back to the class with a cane. He growled- “If no one tells me who killed Goliath in this class, you will see fire!” Everyone in the class insisted on the fact that it wasn’t them.

    Then the Head master looked at the teacher and said- “Mr. Dapo, are you sure that the person who killed Goliath is in this class?” The teacher fainted.

  • 1

    • Comedian

    • My mom said she wanted to be a comedian when she grows up. So after she was an adult, she had kids. When they were old enough, she told them you could be whatever you want...

    Them memes

    Orphanage

    • I once saw a kid walking down the street crying. So I asked them, "Hey kid, where are your parents?" And he started to cry even more...

    "Huh. I wonder why he was so sad..." I said as I walked into the orphanage.

    Bath

    • A good bath is like a dead lover. You can enjoy them, that is until they get too cold.

  • 0

    • Man

    • A man is dating three women and has to choose which one he'll marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5000 and watches to see what she does with the money.

    The first woman does a total make-over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits to look sexy for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed.

    The second woman goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed.

    The third woman invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed.

    The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money... Then he married the one with the biggest breasts.

  • 1

    • Condom

    • Two brothers play on the street. One of them finds a condom on the ground. Not knowing what it is, they go to their mum and ask what it is that they found. Mum gets mad and yells to throw that away immediately.

    Guys go back to the yard, surprised why their mum got mad for just latex. One of them says: "Why did mum get so angry?" The other: "I have no idea, thankfully we did not tell her that we've eaten the yogurt inside!"

  • 3

    • Baby

    • How many babies does it take to make dinner?

    Three to four; there's not a lot of meat on them.

  • 3

    • Ash

    • Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, “Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?” The birch says he cannot tell, but just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The birch says, “Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?”

    The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree and replies, “It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch, it is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever poked my pecker into.”

  • 2

    • Cow

    • I have a cow over at my house spending the night with me because she has been out in the streets homeless and poor, so my family forced it to come and live with me at my place.

    The cow asks me, "Where do I keep all the dairy items like the milk, cheese, yogurt, and meat?" I tell her, "In the refrigerator! Where do you think I keep them, on the farm with all the rest of those cows?"

    That night we had to share a room and sleep in the same damn bed. Then she started getting high and drank some cow wine with titty milk, and it made her shit all over the bed.

  • 1