Them jokes
What part of "Another One Bites the Dust" do you sing to a disabled person to make fun of them? "I'm standing on my own two feet."
My wife and I just decided we don't want to have children.
So if anyone wants them, our contact information is below.
How do you get an orphan to go to sleep?
Tell them their parents are waiting when they wake up.
What’s the difference between a child and someone who has been kidnapped?
One of them is a domesticated pet.
If you have an emo kid army, they'll kill themselves before they get to the field.
Why does Michael Jackson like twenty-eight year olds?
'Cause there are twenty of them.
Man: How do you prepare your chicken?
Waiter: Nothing special, we just tell them they’re going to die.
Why don’t violists play hide and seek?
Because no one will look for them.
Why do orphans hate geometry? Cuz it reminds them that their parents are poley-gone.
Why did the orphan fall out of a tree?
They thought their parents would catch them.
Why do emo kids love dressing up on Halloween so much?
It's their last holiday for them, but at least they're still hanging on...
Why are half the orphans missing? Because I took them, of course! :]
What's something a depressed person can do that a regular person can't?
The depressed person can scan themself.
Man 1: Hey, I heard you survived a school shooting. What was it like?
Man 2: People were screaming and running everywhere. I was only able to get a few of them.
An orphanage is like a horse rescue. You rescue them, rehabilitate them, then sell them for as much as possible.
What happens to grapes when you step on them? They wine.
Why does Mexico not have an Olympic team?
Because all of them that can jump, swim, and run are already here.
My wife and I have reached the decision that we do not want children.
If anyone does, please comment your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Why does Darth Vader always choke people?
Because he wants them to feel what his Sith Lord does to him in bed.
This dad went out hunting, he killed a deer. He came home and he and his wife decided to have it for dinner but not tell their kids. Instead, they made them guess. The dad said, "It's something that daddy calls mommy." The little girl yells to her brother, "Don't eat it! It's an ass!"