Them jokes
How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? All of them if you keep reloading.
Little Johnny is walking in the hallway and goes in his brother's room and catches him watching something, so he asks, "What you watching?" His brother replies, "Nothing," and drops his phone. But then he gets a text from his teacher, who texted him a picture of her naked, saying, "After school come fuck me." So Johnny looks and says, "Ew, I'm telling Mom," and he ran with his brother's phone and showed his mom, and his mom said, "Ok, Johnny, I'll take care of you brother," and she told him to leave, and he did.
And his brother ran in his mom's room naked, and his mom said, "Oh, that's big. How about you do what your teacher told you to do to her, to me?" And a few hours later, Johnny heard weird noises coming from the room, so he walked in and saw them (his brother and mom) having sex, so he closed the door and walked away.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how big they are and how hard you throw them.
How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.
Three blondes were taking a walk when they stumbled on some tracks. They argued on what the tracks came from. One of them said, "it's a deer." The other said, "No it's a coyote." The last one was going to give her thoughts, but that was when the train hit them.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Fortnite is dead, so are you.
(I have no friends because all of my friends play Fortgay, just like my friends all of them are gay.)
What type of apple grows on a tree?
All of them.
Have you seen all the pants with crazy designs on them? I mean, britches be crazy!
Hey kids, guess who started a micronation?
It’s Barney and Trump. They don’t let gays in, but they kill them.
This is supposed to be worst puns but most of them are not puns.
Imagine getting a call and it says, "Welcome to David's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may we help you?"
Q: What's the best thing about fucking 28 year olds?
A: There's 20 of them.
"Twins sitting in class."
Me: Casually throws a paper plane at them.
What do Joe Biden and orphans have in common?
No one loves them!
Dark humor and women are very similar...
Not everyone appreciates them, but they both give everyone something to make fun of.
A teacher asked a class who killed Goliath. The first pupil said he wasn’t the one. The second said he doesn’t know. No one knew in the class.
The teacher got furious and dashed to the Head Master’s office to report. Immediately, the head master followed him back to the class with a cane. He growled- “If no one tells me who killed Goliath in this class, you will see fire!” Everyone in the class insisted on the fact that it wasn’t them.
Then the Head master looked at the teacher and said- “Mr. Dapo, are you sure that the person who killed Goliath is in this class?” The teacher fainted.
Neona (😟): I bet you I'm not going to get that job at all!
Gwen (😌): Yeah well, I believe in you.
Neona (😔): You got the job, and am I still waiting for them to call me and remind me that I will, but I won't get it. Anyway, I need to prepare for a job that I won't get.
Gwen (😠): Neona, you just don't got enough confidence. You got to have confidence in life. I know you will get the job. I do now. Just believe instead of giving up!
Neona (😞): UGH fine!!!
Gwen (😉): I'll see you at that job interview!!!! Put a smile on your face, too!
Neona (😊): Okay...Gwen, you're the best!
What would you call a person who hides in a house for 24 hours and then kills them?
Morgz.
Someone I know is an ant. I feel like a mountain to them.
My mom said she wanted to be a comedian when she grows up. So after she was an adult, she had kids. When they were old enough, she told them you could be whatever you want...