Them jokes

What do sexists and WNBA fans have in common?

There's enough of them to acknowledge their existence.

(Just a joke, no offense.)

Susie was in her mother's room one night, as her mother was getting ready for bed. She had slipped off her blouse; her boobs, plum and perky. Susie had asked what are those and will I get them? Her mother had said they were boobs and she would grow some in a few years. Her mother told Susie to find her father and say goodnight.

So Susie left, headed down the hall to the bathroom where her father was showering. Susie knocked on the door, he said come in. He had moved the shower curtain over just a bit. Susie said she loved him, and then seen her father's dick. Shocked, Susie asked her father what that was and if she would get one. Her father said it was a dick, and he said Susie would get it after her mother went to bed.

A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Spain, who name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mother.

Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds: "They're twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

All these people on here making me wish I knew them IRL.

How do you piss off a midget?

Give them a yo-yo and tell them to play with it.

How many push-ups can Chuck Norris do?

All of them.

Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?

So you can tell them apart from the feminists.

(True story) Today I was bringing some tortilla chips upstairs for some chips and dip, and I dropped them, so my mom goes “Oh, now they’re broken.”

And I took an opportunity to make a pun, so I said, “No, they’re just chipped.”

Hey, people don't fly with suicide jokes.

In fact, they hang with them!

Yesterday, there was a blackout on my street.

So I sold them.

If two blind people meet, one of them says: "Long time, no see!"

What is the difference between women and cars?

At least one of them retained their value after getting wrecked.

How did the Emo kid bag all the cheerleaders?

He hit them all when he started shooting his shot.

Why aren’t short people allowed to be mentors?

Because you can’t look up to them.

I don’t get why Katniss was bitching so much in ‘The Hunger Games’ books. Ethiopia has been competing for years and I don’t hear any of them complaining.

An officer confronts two congressmen.

He informs them, \"I’m looking for a couple of child molesters.\"

The two look at each other, turn to the officer and exclaim, \"Sure! We’ll do it!\"

Jokes about communism aren't funny unless everyone gets them.

Why do we put round pizzas in square boxes and eat them as triangles?

Man: How do you prepare your chicken?

Waiter: Nothing special, we just tell them they’re going to die.

Why does Michael Jackson like twenty-eight year olds?

'Cause there are twenty of them.