Them jokes

8008135 is my favorite number.

The worst ratio is 6:9.

And last but not least, "Why was six afraid of seven?" Seven eight nine. But why was six with nine? Because when you put them together, you get 69. But why was six mad at nine? Because Nine eight six, too.

What do world hunger and a Mercedes have in common?

Princess Diana couldn't stop both of them.

Three nuns die in a car crash, but they all make it to heaven. They're standing at the pearly gates, and Saint Peter says to them, "Don't worry, you're going to get in, but first I need you to answer these questions."

He asks the first nun, "What was the name of the first woman?" The nun says, "Eve." Saint Peter says, "Go on in."

Then he asks the second nun, "Where did Adam and Eve live?" The second one says, "The Garden of Eden." Saint Peter says, "You can go through."

Finally, he gets to the third nun and says, "What was the first thing Eve said to Adam?" The nun stands there a little confused and says, "Boy, that's a hard one." Saint Peter, shocked, goes, "That's correct! Go on in."

What do sexists and WNBA fans have in common?

There's enough of them to acknowledge their existence.

(Just a joke, no offense.)

Susie was in her mother's room one night, as her mother was getting ready for bed. She had slipped off her blouse; her boobs, plum and perky. Susie had asked what are those and will I get them? Her mother had said they were boobs and she would grow some in a few years. Her mother told Susie to find her father and say goodnight.

So Susie left, headed down the hall to the bathroom where her father was showering. Susie knocked on the door, he said come in. He had moved the shower curtain over just a bit. Susie said she loved him, and then seen her father's dick. Shocked, Susie asked her father what that was and if she would get one. Her father said it was a dick, and he said Susie would get it after her mother went to bed.

A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Spain, who name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mother.

Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds: "They're twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

My wife and I just decided we don't want to have children.

So if anyone wants them, our contact information is below.

How do you get an orphan to go to sleep?

Tell them their parents are waiting when they wake up.

Why don’t violists play hide and seek?

Because no one will look for them.

Why are half the orphans missing? Because I took them, of course! :]

Why do orphans hate geometry? Cuz it reminds them that their parents are poley-gone.

Why did the orphan fall out of a tree?

They thought their parents would catch them.

Why do emo kids love dressing up on Halloween so much?

It's their last holiday for them, but at least they're still hanging on...

If you have an emo kid army, they'll kill themselves before they get to the field.

Why does Michael Jackson like twenty-eight year olds?

'Cause there are twenty of them.

What's the same about a newborn and a football?

You can kick them both very easily.

I teach orphans.

But the problem is I can't give them homework.

Man: How do you prepare your chicken?

Waiter: Nothing special, we just tell them they’re going to die.

Why can't orphans ride a bike?

'Cause their parents won't follow them.

Some people are such treasures that you sometimes just wanna bury them.