Them jokes

Comparison

    • Women are like iPhones, you have to touch them all over before they respond. Men are like Blackberrys, rub one ball and everything moves!

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    • Twin Towers

    • What do the Twin Towers and gender have in common? There used to be two of them, but now it's a sensitive topic.

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    • Mailman

    • Two boys came home for dinner late, and their mother asked, "Where have you boys been?" One of them replied with, "We were all over the neighborhood, we're mailmen now." Their snobby teen sister said, "Well, you're not real mailmen, real mailmen use real letters." Then one of the boys said, "Actually, we used real letters, we found a whole box of them under your bed."

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    • Mess

    • Person 1: Goodness, when is Michael Jackson going to stop eating these white chocolate truffles? He is already making a goddamn mess on his bed eating a few of them.

    Person 2: Well, he cannot resist the little white balls.

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    • Friend

    • I was going to give my wife chocolates, but my fat friends ate them.

    Wife: "You don't even have friends!"

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    • Them memes

    Teacher

    • A teacher asked a class who killed Goliath. The first pupil said he wasn’t the one. The second said he doesn’t know. No one knew in the class.

    The teacher got furious and dashed to the Head Master’s office to report. Immediately, the head master followed him back to the class with a cane. He growled- “If no one tells me who killed Goliath in this class, you will see fire!” Everyone in the class insisted on the fact that it wasn’t them.

    Then the Head master looked at the teacher and said- “Mr. Dapo, are you sure that the person who killed Goliath is in this class?” The teacher fainted.

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    • Resurrection

    • What's the difference between MetaCareForAll and the resurrection of our lord and savior Jesus Christ?

    One of them is an unrealistic fantasy that can never come true because it wouldn't work. The other one is the resurrection our lord and savior Jesus Christ.

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    • Sleeping Pill

    • Doctor: Madam, your husband needs rest and peace, so here are some sleeping pills.

    Wife: Doctor, when should I give them to him?

    Doctor: They are for you!

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    • Canadian

    • Two Canadians die and end up in Hell. Satan decides to pay them a visit, so he walks into their room and sees them talking and laughing. Confused, he asks them why they're happy.

    They tell him, "Well, we're so sick of the cold where we're from, and this place is nice and toasty."

    Satan, annoyed, storms away and goes to Hell's boiler room, where he turns up the temperature.

    He goes back to the Canadians' room, along the way being begged by all sorts of people to put the heating back down. He enters the room to see the Canadians having a barbecue. Furiously, he asks them what they're doing.

    "Well, we can't pass up this wonderful weather without getting out the barbecue!"

    Satan realizes he's been doing the wrong thing. He goes to the boiler room and turns it down until it's at a colder temperature than ever seen on earth.

    He knows he's won now, so he goes back to the Canadians' room, only to see them jumping up and down in excitement.

    He shouts at them in fury, "WHY ARE YOU STILL HAPPY?!?!?!"

    They look at him and shout at the same time, "Hell froze over! That means the Leafs won!"

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    • Adult

    • 🤔 ❓ How do lesbians 😳 practice safe 🙏 sex they put condoms on dildos and then they put dildos inside of their 👄 👄 👄 mouths and then they perform fellatio on them

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    • Breast

    • A man saw a lady with big breasts. He asked, "Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?" She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes. Eventually, the lady asks, "Aren't you gonna bite them?" He replies, "No, it's too expensive."

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