Why do apple trees like emo kids?
Because they like to play yoyo with them.
"Wubba Lubba Dub Dub" is one way to describe how my inner child acts, but yesterday I killed them. Now I hear "Wubba Lubba Dub Dub," I’m drowning in the tub.
Hey kids, guess who started a micronation?
It’s Barney and Trump. They don’t let gays in, but they kill them.
Hey guys, I have a question.
Doesn't everyone's parents tell them don't take candy from strangers? Then what is Halloween?
How do you break an orphan's wall in their room in the orphanage?
Tell them to put a tally on the wall with a pen for every second their parents are missing.
Little Johnny likes to play with toy guns.
Little Johnny paints them black.
Little Johnny went to a gun store.
Little Johnny made a big mess.
The cemetery people were getting paid.
I always say no to drugs, but considering that I'm talking to them right now, I probably already said yes.
Yo mama so [full of] kidney stones Thanos used them for his gauntlet.
Kids are cute, not even joking. Wanking is easy around them.
The hardest part of picking up a hitch hiker is tying them up.
My friend: Yo stupid.
Me: Is that right, and what exactly have you done in your lifetime that makes you Einstein?
My friend: *rolls eyes and says whatever.*
Me: Keep on rolling them, you might find your brain in there.
Bitch: Nice eyebrows.
Me: Yeah, where's yours, motherfucker?
Bitch: (Realizing she shaved them off cause she thought it would look cool)
When someone falls, you say to them, "I remember when I started to learn to walk."
Hey Alya and JK Master, how are you guys doing? No one being an ass to you guys today, right? If so, I'll beat them up :)
You know somebody has a fat ass when someone is standing between you and them, and all you can focus on is that trunk.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
'Cause mommy never gave them some.
I've got something better for all of you. I may not have found it, but Google "hottest sexiest women ever." Then you'll want them!
Why are orphans always on the toilet?
Because they don't have anyone to give them some toilet paper!
I saw an orphan and asked them if they had parent permission.
Why can't orphans go on vacation?
The last time they did, they fell in the toilet and had no one to help them out. Ugh!
