Theft jokes

I'm so poor that I had to rob a food bank for a loaf of bread.

I broke up with my girlfriend and stole her wheelchair.

Guess who likes vegetables now?

Why did the orphan get arrested for identity theft?

He dressed up as Batman for Halloween.

Whoever took my dildo,

I hope you're having a good time.

You know what's so horrible about this website?

When I mimic another person's account, the picture ALWAYS changes color. No more identity theft for me.

We were so poor my dad would give me a penny not to eat supper.

I'd put it under my pillow and while I was sleeping, he would come in and take it. In the morning, he would holler at me for losing the penny.