The jokes
what's another name for cumming inside of a woman?
loading the dishwasher.
What's the best way to get gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.
How do parents punish a blind kid? They rearrange the furniture.
How does a cannibal start a wedding reception?
He toasts the groom.
Memes
Anatidaephobia
A depressed kid went to go high five a tree.
But the tree left him hanging.
What's the difference between my car and a school bus? A school bus takes them back home.
I love eating pussy. That’s why the animal shelter is always my go-to for a good meal.
I took an hour-long shower. The German officers were looking at me kinda scared.
Why did the Japanese NOT shoot down the American plane that was dropping atomic bombs?
From what their eyes saw, it was a piece of rice.
Ruin a quote by attributing it to the wrong person.
"Don't cry because it is over. Smile because it happened." -Adolf Hitler, 1945.
Why did Hitler turn to genocide after a failed career as an artist?
He never learned to mix the colors.
Why was the orphan so successful? Because once someone told him "go big or go home," and he only had one option.
Yo mama is so fat, she wakes up on both sides of the bed.
How to respond if someone starts looking at the photos on your phone.
Step 1: Jab your thumbs into their eye sockets.
Today, I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the residents if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door in my face.
My parents are the worst.
Do you get jealous of your clothes when they hang from the line?
Why was the Tower of Pisa always leaning?
Cuz it wanted better accuracy than the Twin Towers.
Who is the man behind all lives matter?
Michael Jackson.
Why did the hooker quit her job?
She had a nut allergy.