The jokes

Yo mama is so ugly, when she took a bath, the water jumped out.

My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer. I'm not too worried, I think she's joking.

The bushes outside got jealous after they saw your eyebrows.

So, a few hours ago my friend said I need to CUT it out with the s/h jokes... like... it's really not that deep?

Why did the kid drop his ice cream?

He got hit by a bus.

My mom said I need Jesus in my life, so I drunk up the holy water ;}

What did Hitler feel about all the jokes about him? Führereous.

There was a plane crash. The pilot's names were Captain Sum Ting Wong, Wi Tu Lo, Ho Lee Fuk, and Bang Ding Ow.

What do Phillip Adam and Kurt Cobain have in common?

They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.

James Woods, starring in the newest movie: "September 11, two thousand fun."

I got introduced to a dwarf at a nudist colony the other day.

When we shook, the pleasure was all mine.

Q: Why couldn't the bicycle stand up?

A: Because it was too tired!! 😴😴😴

These three men wanted to start a band. One had the idea to call them the Rolling Stones, one wanted to call them the Veggies, the other said, "Let's be the Cripples," as they all rolled away.

What's your favorite color of the alphabet? True or false?

Suicide is the way to get even with the bitch called probability.

What is the difference between Bin Laden and Santa? One stops at the top of the skyscraper.

Once I saw Donald Trump and an orange and couldn’t tell the difference 😂

What do you do when you finish a magazine at the hospital?

Reload and keep shooting.

What’s the difference between an Indian and Jewish person?

An Indian person is burnt after death.

My mother was so sad after my grandpa's death, she went into the bathroom with my uncle, and I could hear their moans of sorrow. She then surprised me later on, saying that she was pregnant.